The Obscurer

Twitterings: 26th June-2nd July

  • Friday morning Pavement lyric #7: “We spoke of latent causes, sterile gauzes, and the bedside morale.” [#]
  • @michael_dennis If everyone listened to the Man From Delmonte song “M-I-C-H-A-E-L” it could improve things; it’s why I know how to spell it. in reply to michael_dennis [#]
  • @michael_dennis No, I can’t find it online either, so for the time being I’ve whacked it up here: http://www.obscurer.co.uk/michael.mp3 in reply to michael_dennis [#]
  • “Oh, that reminds me,” says my son on hearing the ice-cream van. “What of…post-war Vienna?” I replied. [#]
  • I wonder. Does knowing that our local ice-cream van plays the theme from “The Third Man” aid ones understanding of that last tweet? [#]
  • Blood & Treasure: Parable Of The Snake Illustrated http://amplify.com/u/936 [#]
  • Bloc Party appear to have a limitless supply of very average songs. [#]
  • *Never* giving my kids Doritos ever again. Currently trying to get them down off the ceiling by using the broom with the extendable handle. [#]
  • Flying Rodent: on Not Flying The Flag (How Bullshit Works, Part 14,302 ) http://amplify.com/u/97g [#]
  • Just broken a chisel trying to get some Morrison’s “Soft-Scoop” ice cream out of the tub. [#]
  • Cadbury’s “Freddo” has got to be my favourite amphibian-shaped chocolate bar. [#]
  • @hackneye Blimey, that’s two of my meagre band of twitter followers that have had swine flu. Hope you’re all on the mend. in reply to hackneye [#]

Police. Camera. Action?

Don Paskini recently pointed me in the direction of the blog of “Libertarian Lib Dem Charlotte Gore”, and specifically a post in which she explains why she will not be standing in a parliamentary election any time soon. This is probably a good decision on her part; among other reasons, Charlotte dismisses running for parliament because “It’s not for me, this life of trying to appeal to ‘people’.” Hmm. Libertarians “are at some point going to have to figure out how to address this problem about the “people” not wanting to vote for them,” points out Don, unless they are happy to run with

the alternative to winning popular support…to wait for a military dictator to do the hard work of securing power and then persuade him to hire them as policy advisers, as in Pinochet’s Chile. There’s nothing quite like having the overwhelming might of the state to crush dissent to enable libertarian ideas to get tried out.

Anyway, Charlotte does treat us to the sort of letter she would like to write to her prospective constituents, were she to ever give it a go and stand for election in Halifax. Her letter opens

Dear Halifax,
I’m looking for someone. It might be you. It might be someone you know.

It is at this point, were I to receive such a missive through the door, that I would probably scrunch it up and hurl it in the recycling; but this being the internet I did read on. And it’s an okay letter I suppose although somewhat simplistic, and certain points stated as fact are certainly arguable. However, it was Charlotte’s assertion that under this government “it has become illegal to take photographs of the police” that really caught my eye. Now, I don’t want it to seem as if I am singling Charlotte out here – the stated illegality of capturing the police on film is something I’ve read and heard umpteen times already and from many different sources, especially in relation to the footage of police officers’ actions during the G20 demonstrations – it’s just her misfortune that I’ve got a wee bit of time on my hands at the moment, so I’m able to put my thoughts, or what passes for my thought, down in words just now.

The prevalence of this complaint that it is now illegal to photograph the police lends me to believe that many people want this fact to be more widely known, and that they feel that not enough people are aware of this very serious assault on our civil liberties. I disagree. I think that in fact far too many people are aware of this “law”, and for one simple reason: it isn’t true. To inform others that photographing the police is against the law is at best mistaken, certainly hyperbolic, but at its worst it is a plain deception.

The law I’m assuming Charlotte is referring to is Section 76 of the Counter-Terrorism Act 2008, which amends Section 58 of the Terrorism Act 2000 to additionally read

58A Eliciting, publishing or communicating information about members of armed forces etc

(1) A person commits an offence who—

  (a) elicits or attempts to elicit information about an individual who is or has been—

  1. a member of Her Majesty’s forces,
  2. a member of any of the intelligence services, or
  3. a constable,

    which is of a kind likely to be useful to a person committing or preparing an act of terrorism, or

  (b) publishes or communicates any such information.

(2) It is a defence for a person charged with an offence under this section to prove that they had a reasonable excuse for their action.

I’d say that is pretty straightforward and self-explanatory, certainly not a blanket ban on photographing the police; yet this is the piece of legislation that has been reduced by many journalists and bloggers to read “Wah! We can’t take a picture of a copper! Like not never!” just as the smoking ban was for some bizarre reason over-simplified by many to mean “Wah! I can’t have a fag in the pub!” Except, while it is at least true that you can’t have a fag in a pub anymore (it’s just that the law itself is somewhat more detailed that that) it is clearly not true to say that the law now prevents the routine photographing of police officers.

Now, that is not to say that I don’t have misgivings about this law. There are plenty of pieces of anti-terrorist legislation around already, laws to prevent the commissioning of and acts preparatory to terrorism. Section 76 certainly seems like a classic case of New Labour inventing a brand-new, poorly drafted and pointless offence when there are perfectly decent existing offences that could do as good a job. I am also not so naïve that I’m not fully aware that in practice this law is certain to be misused by some officious officers anxious to prevent their actions from being captured on film and then broadcast to and scrutinised by a wider, curious public. The point is, though, that if they do try to prevent someone from taking legitimate photographs they will be misusing the law.

And the thing is that any law can be misused, laws are already misapplied; but that doesn’t instantly mean we should criticise a law or exaggerate its powers. This press release from the British Journal of Photographers back in January complained about the then prospective implementation of Section 76, by showing existing examples of heavy-handed police behaviour using existing laws. Then there was the example recently of someone being arrested for theft when handing a found mobile phone into a police station; but the fault there lies in the dickish judgement of the officer in question, not with the law. In response to such a case we need to tackle that particular officer’s actions; we don’t decide that we need to repeal the law on theft, or go around spreading erroneous rumour about it now being illegal to hand in found property. Well, certain tabloids may, but they have their own agendas; it’s just what they do.

My argument here is not simply motivated by pedantry; I think that it is vital that we fully and accurately know our rights. If you are arrested when handing-in a mobile phone at a police station it is important to know that “theft by finding” is not a made-up law, as some commenters on the Daily Mail’s website seem to think; but also that theft only applies when you are seeking to permanently deprive the owner of their property, which clearly cannot be the case when you are in the process of returning it. Similarly, if you believe that it is simply illegal to photograph a police officer under any circumstances, then should an officer try to prevent you from taking a snap of him you may feel compelled to comply, feeling that the law, however unjust, is on his side (indeed, perhaps as importantly, from reading some blogs and newspaper articles bemoaning that fact that photographing police officers is now illegal, the police officer in question may himself genuinely believe that the law is on his side). Far better, surely, to know where you stand legally, and to refuse any attempt to prevent you from taking pictures by stating that you know you are fully within your rights.

It all suggest to me a most luxurious indulgence to be able to so exaggerate the police’s powers, something I doubt is required in North Korea or Burma, say, where I would imagine one of the few weapons against a genuine police state is an extensive, and most of all correct, knowledge of your rights. Ultimately, the point I guess I’m trying to make is that claiming that the police have greater powers than they do – and by extension that we have fewer rights than we in fact possess – may be of value if all you are interested in doing is giving New Labour or the police a good old metaphorical kicking; but if it is motivated by a genuine desire to defend our civil liberties then it is surely a thoroughly misguided and counter-productive activity.

Cover Story

You’d think, the way some people are talking, that we’re all unable to step outside our front doors without seeing someone dressed in a burka (a word I fear I may spell differently each time I use it on this post). The issue of the ubiquitous burka (or burkha) – or should that be the ubiquitous issue of the burqa (or burqua) – has certainly been in the media recently. Last week, the once-reputable Allison Pearson wrote of “Burkha Rage” in her Daily Mail column; then, on Monday, French President Nicolas Sarkozy took advantage of an historic special session of the French parliament to speak of banning the item of dress; and by yesterday that story featured on both Question Time and This Week, both of which I actually managed to bother watching for the first time in an age.

The Allison Pearson piece has already been taken apart by Anton Vowl, amongst others, so I will try to be brief. Pearson opens her article with a little story.

On a train to London, a young woman wearing a burkha, with only her heavily made-up eyes peeping out, did not have a valid ticket.

Challenged by the guard, the young woman gave a litany of excuses. She had left her bag at her boyfriend’s, he had bought the ticket, she had no money on her…

My friend Jane, who was in the same carriage, noticed how the guard became nervous as the Muslim girl presented herself as an innocent in a society she didn’t understand.

Instead of issuing a penalty fine, the guard backed off, shrugging his helplessness at the other passengers.

So imagine my friend’s surprise when she got off at the same station as burkha girl and saw this ‘penniless innocent’ whip out a credit card from under the folds of her dress with which she promptly bought a Tube ticket.

Jane was so incensed she sent me a text message, explaining what she’d witnessed. It ended: ‘Attack of Burkha Rage. Grrr.’

Grrr indeed. Now, to me this seems to be a straightforward case of common-or-garden fare-dodging, an activity that I suspect cuts across all demographics and which many of us have engaged in to some degree. I know I have; in my cash-strapped days on the dole my favoured technique was to simply stare out of the train window as the guard approached in the hope that he would mistakenly assume he had already checked my ticket, something that worked a surprising number of times. That said, fare-dodging is wrong. No question. What I can’t see, though, when reading this story, is how the fact that this particular fare-dodger sported a burka is in any way relevant, other than the assertion that “the guard became nervous as the Muslim girl presented herself as an innocent in a society she didn’t understand”, a questionable claim that seems to be undermined by the previous statement that “burkha girl” had issued a “litany of excuses” to try to escape paying, all of which suggest a definite au-faitness with British society in general and what is expected of one when boarding a train in particular.

Now, it is increasingly a good idea at such a juncture to point out I am not bandying about any allegation of racism here, lest I am accused of closing down debate on such an important matter. However, I also feel it is important to call things as you see them and that to hide behind euphemism can render any debate worthless, and so I do hope Allison Pearson and others will allow me to be suspicious of the motivation behind choosing to define the term “burkha rage” by illustrating it with an incident in which a burka itself, while present, appears to play no significant part; or indeed any part at all. While it would be wrong to jump to any obvious conclusion and cry “racism”, so it would be wrong to prematurely exclude the possibility that an element of racism may be present. Otherwise, Pearson’s friend’s story could just as appropriately be about “Hush Puppies Rage”, “Timex Watch Rage” or “M&S Underwear Rage” if we were to discover that these items too were worn about the person of the protaganist in this tale, and for all it would matter. Anyway, Pearson assures us that at the end of the day her friend Jane “is not a BNP voter.” No? Well, perhaps she should be.

Meanwhile, Sarkozy’s suggestion that – were he to get his own way – the burka would “not be welcome on the territory of the French republic” because it oppresses woman is similarly stupid; a piece of logic so daft that debunking it shouldn’t really need doing. Sadly, based upon the reaction of much of yesterday’s Question Time audience to the issue (not to mention that of Michael Portillo following on This Week) I’d better had. As I see it then, there are two broad groups that any potential ban on the burka is going to affect. On the one hand there are those women who choose to wear the burka of their own free will; here, the government will be instructing people on what they can and cannot wear, a bizarre state of affairs. On the other there are those women who are forced to wear the burka, trapped as they are in some form of domestic subservience; they will perhaps welcome being freed from the tyranny of having to wear the burka, but will still, all other things being equal, remain trapped in that same form of domestic subservience. So why fucking bother?

If, then, the intention of such a ban is to empower women who are stuck in an abusive relationship, then it seems to me to spectacularly miss the point. There are many, varied and complex ways that we can assist people in such situations that I can and will readily support. In any event, however, the empowerment of women didn’t appear to be a concern of many of Sarkozy’s supporters in the Question Time audience last night who seemed far more keen on fighting other battles. “When in Rome…” complained one opponent of the burka who, in the interests of ensuring a free and open debate, may not be racist. Perhaps he feels that Muslim interlopers should adopt indigenous methods of domestic oppression? There are plenty to choose from. Another audience member decried the fact that politicians refuse to debate this issue for reasons of political correctness, apparently oblivious to the fact that he was a member of the audience of a political debating programme featuring a debate between politicians on the very issue he complained no one would talk about. I wonder if he gets similarly confused and incensed when he hears the likes of Nick Griffin complain about a political correctness that means that only the white, native population of this country is discriminated against in being denied the opportunity to form their own exclusive organisations; perhaps so much so that he has considered taking the opportunity to join Nick Griffin’s BNP, an exclusive organisation formed exclusively by and for the white, native population?

If so, then perhaps he can take Jane along.

Twitterings: 19th-25th June

  • Friday morning Pavement lyric #6: “Mandrake versus the snake. I got it on the camera for posterity.” [#]
  • Shouting At Cows: on HD TV and ITV Sport in Mosaic-vision http://amplify.com/u/87u [#]
  • RT @antonvowl: RT @bounder – Worst Daily Mail poll ever. Vote yes to skew the results and pass it on http://bit.ly/w4b6Q [#]
  • Morning Quiz: How many times in an *average* day does Nicky Campbell get punched? (Clue: It’s fewer than you’d think; between 80-100 times). [#]
  • 853: on Anonymous Blogging and MSM Hypocrisy http://amplify.com/u/8im [#]
  • Mother Nature has decreed that I’m of an age where I would benefit from tufts of hair growing from my ears. Mother Nature is full of shit. [#]
  • *Still* slightly hungover, despite stopping drinking 16 hours ago. Does hair-of-the-dog work with alcohol-free beer? It’s all I have in. [#]
  • This hot cup of tea isn’t cooling me down at all. [#]

MasterChef Is Back

We interrupt our weekly Twitter digests with a quick word from MasterChef HQ. Because if it is said that a picture paints a thousand words, how few words can you get away with writing if, rather than carefully scripting a post, you instead chuck up a quick animated video?

A few weeks ago I came across this video, wherein Flying Rodent took some of the words from this post by Devil’s Kitchen and put them to his own animation, with a little help from Xtranormal, a new(ish) video-making site. DK’s original post actually starts off quite intelligently, more or less echoing my own thoughts on the differences between “positive libertarianism” and “negative libertarianism”; but then he goes and ruins it all – at least by my reckoning – in claiming that he belongs to the former category. I’m sure he honestly believes it; but the rest of his post is pretty much DK-by-numbers in my experience, the sort of thing I’ve read umpteen times before. Anyway, Flying Rodent’s animated version lifts up our Devil’s humble prose beautifully by placing his words in a more fitting context altogether, and with hilarious consequences.

Which got me to thinking about whether I could also use Xtranormal to amusing effect – perhaps by animating my MasterChef post from a few months back – and do you know what, I’m not sure that I can. But here, regardless, is the fruit of my efforts.