Back To The Old House
by Quinn
Remember me? Just a quick word to those who care to say that I’m back from my extended jaunt, where along the way I sampled many of the regional dishes of these fair isles; Cornish pasties (obviously), macaroni pies (ubiquitous in Scotland, seemingly) and Cumberland sausages (in butty form, following a sneaky trip to the Lakes for lunch on our way home). I am now approaching the size of house, whereas at the start of my break I was merely the size of a holiday cottage. Time to think about dieting. Again.
I’ll spare you the slide show. Not that we have too many pictures of golden beaches; we only got one really good week of sun out of the four we were away, but that’s fair enough if you are holidaying in Britain (that global warming we hear so damn much about can go and get a bloody move on). But I will show you just one picture, as a request for assistance.
I mean; what the blinking flip is this? We unwittingly received it from Burger King at Exeter services, where I bought a “Dark Whopper” for myself and a Spiderman meal for my son (the Dark Whopper was very average, but the description featured black pepper somewhere in it; my Achilles heel, and so the marketing men hauled me in like a grateful mackerel). So clearly it must be some character from the new Spiderman 3 movie; but what? And why has whatever it is been dismembered and put atop an HGV (where I think he is supposed to spin around as the vehicle moves forward, except the mechanism doesn’t seem to work)? Frankly I am as baffled as my son was scared. Answers on a seaside postcard please; or just uses the comments facility below.
Anyway; normal service will be resumed soon enough; i.e. I’ll probably write fuck all now for another few weeks. See you soon?
The Obscurer 
Is it the Sandman chap? He can grow as big as a house, I hear. I say “I hear” like it’s something everyone at work is talking about. I actually read it in the LRB of all places. You can probably imagine the withering, stentorian tone of the rest of the review.
Yes, I now believe it is that Sandman fellow. I suppose I could have found out myself with just a cursory effort, but it is far simpler to throw it open to my vast readership so they can do the heavy lifting for me.
As for the toy itself, another reader has pointed out this ebay page where all is revealed. Apparently it is some sort of spinning toy that can be used to power the truck forward for no obvious reason I can discern.
I’ve tried it out. It doesn’t work very well. Still, it was “free”, and I will keep a beady eye on whatever the seller on ebay manages to get for it.
Thanks to the LRB and your good self for your assistance!