I think it’s great that David Cameron is a “man with a plan” just now; I only wish he wasn’t being so coy about telling us what it is. Why the secret? Why so hush-hush? If I had a plan right now then believe me I’d be boring the pants off everybody by spelling out exactly what it entails; you wouldn’t be able to shut me up! So come on David; spill the beans! Great as this plan of yours undoubtedly is, it won’t do us any good locked up inside your head.
Justin “can’t think of a single thing to say” about Cameron’s speech. I can’t do much better. The only thing I took away from his performance is that neither he nor his speechwriters can own Stevie Wonder’s finest, seminal LP Innervisions. Or else they haven’t played it all the way through. Or if they have then they can’t have listened very closely to the lyrics. Anyway, I’ve had “He’s Misstra Know-It-All” buzzing around in my head since Cameron made his speech, so here are a few choice lines from the song.
- He’s a man / With a plan / Got a counterfeit dollar in his hand
- Makes a deal / With a smile / Knowin’ all the time that his lie’s a mile
- Must be seen / There’s no doubt / He’s the coolest one with the biggest mouth
- Any place / He will play / His only concern is how much you’ll pay
- If he shakes / On a bet / He’s the kind of dude that won’t pay his debt
- Take my word / Please beware / Of a man that just don’t give a care
- If we had less of him / Don’t you know we’d have a better land
- He’s Misstra Know-It-All (Look out he’s coming)
I find that last line quite chilling. Is this really what Cameron wants to be associated with? Was this done my accident or design? Let’s just hope that Cameron’s team are unaware of this song, since the alternative is that they know what they’re doing and they are giving themselves an option so that at some point in the future, as Cameron’s premiership dissolves in a solution of derision and resentment, they can turn around, refer us to that famous phrase from his historic 2008 conference speech, and say “well the clues were all there; don’t say we never warned you”.
Now, you may violently disagree with the conclusion that I have drawn here. If so then I respect that and I will know what you’re thinking; that this is just lazy blogging, that I’m being unfair and dismissive. Fair enough; but all I will say is that in all honesty, while I agree that both Talking Book and Songs In The Key Of Life are excellent works in their own right, I genuinely think that Innervisions just about has the edge.