The Obscurer

Pigeons Plot In Secrecy

I don’t know about you, but this whole Tony Blair succession thing has been a right fucking yawn. Whatever the political correspondents may say this is hardly 1990, when Michael Heseltine broke cover to drag Margaret Thatcher down the steps and out of 10 Downing Street while she kicked and bit the whole way. This time around Blair has openly stated that he is going soon and we are pretty sure we know who will replace him as PM; what we don’t know is exactly when this will all take place, but does it really matter?

However, Charles Clarke’s interventions have made the whole situation far more entertaining. Attacking Gordon Brown in the Evening Standard he stated that Brown’s recent behaviour had been “absolutely stupid”; that he could have stopped the recent infighting “with a click of his fingers”, that he must “prove his fitness” to lead and that there are “little incidences like the grin in the car (when leaving after a chat with Blair to discuss the handover) that build up a terrible picture” of Brown.

I think personally that we have reached a pretty sad state of affairs when someone can get criticised for smiling, while I haven’t exactly noticed Blair slapping down his supporters for criticising Brown recently; and if Clarke really is so appalled by political plotting, what does he think it looks like when he runs to the Standard and then the Telegraph to launch attacks on Brown (after he promised, promised, whilst slagging of the knobbish John Reid a few months back, that he would retire from public life after the World Cup)?

It all reminds me less of the Heseltine-Thatcher squabble, which amounted to open warfare, than the guerrilla-like campaign that surrounded Michael Portillo when he ran for the Tory leadership in 2001. At the time the papers were full of accusations that Portillo was a ruthless and malevolent schemer who would spin and dissemble, who would stand aloof while he released his attack dogs to savage any opposition, who would trample on anyone who got in his way. I thought at the time that it was curious that for someone who was supposedly such a master of the dark arts we only saw negative portrayals of him in the press, while his opponents, Ken Clark and Iain Duncan Smith, went about unscathed. Either the press ignored Portillo’s efforts, or they weren’t effective, or in fact he was the subject rather than the originator of a smear campaign.

Similarly, listening to a phone-in yesterday on Five Live, the majority of the listeners subscribed to the view of Brown as a shifty and bitter malcontent disloyally plotting Blair’s downfall. As Brown hasn’t openly acted in any such manner you can only imagine people have come to this opinion from reading the papers; but is this because Brown has actually been plotting, or is it because, as with Portillo, he is in fact the victim of an insidious and effective propaganda campaign; contrariwise?

I’m not seeking to defend Gordon Brown here, I don’t really know what he is up to and I care less; I don’t give a shit about such Westminster Village bollocks. He may well be plotting and spinning day and night for all I know; but I can’t help thinking that surely the best schemer is the one you don’t think is scheming, who appears to be genuinely above it all? And with that in mind, lest we forget that however many faults Tony Blair can lay claim to (and oh, let me count the ways), he has proven time and again that he is the consummate politician, without peer.

MeTube

A good few months ago I wrote about YouTube, imagining that I was in the vanguard in spreading the word about a fantastic new service on t’web. Today, of course, there can’t be anyone out there who doesn’t know about and use YouTube, whether to share their own home videos, to view illegal content, or to publicise their latest happy-slap.

I do enjoy making my own videos and sharing them with my friends, but I think it is the illegal content bit I like the most; nothing especially dodgy, just stuff like old music videos and the like. I was amazed when I saw people posting about archive Howlin’ Wolf performances hosted on YouTube, and if they can find a home there then it makes me wonder where it will all end. As with Wikipedia, where it appears there is no subject too obscure for someone, somewhere to have created an entry, so in the fullness of time could just about every notable event ever filmed end up on YouTube (albeit buried alongside all manner of crap; but that is the way of the web)? Perhaps one day someone will post the moment on Children In Need in (I think) 1990 when my college mate Simon is supposed to have burst on stage and hugged Terry Wogan just as he was about to announce the final total. I’ve never seen the clip – that is if it happened and Simon wasn’t bullshitting, which he did have a habit of doing – and I’d love to.

With the deluge of content on YouTube, however, there is a definite benefit in having a minority taste. If you are a fan of Madonna, for example, you are buggered; 9242 clips to trawl through at the last count in the hope of finding a gem. A preference for Throwing Muses, however, means you just have 91 videos to weed out; and I have, watching loads of old promos and interviews I missed first time around.

Which reminds me; a few years back a mate and I were chatting about what we would like to do other than our current jobs. I mentioned running a bookshop, or perhaps a record shop; at which point Paul spat out his beer and creased up laughing.

“What? A record shop devoted exclusively to Throwing Muses and The Boo Radleys,” he said, those being my two favourite bands at the time (and still two of my favourites today), “I can’t see that being a commercial success”.

Perhaps not, but that doesn’t make the concept in itself wrong. So just in case I am made Music Dictator anytime soon, here is what you need to be prepared for. Don’t worry though; they are both very short tracks.

Throwing Muses: Juno

The Boo Radleys: Lazy Day

Any Port

It was a bit of a false start, really. Abandoning my City season ticket in May after umpteen years, the new season saw me attend my first pre-season friendly in ages as City took on Porto. I never had any intention of going to the match, but when my parents offered to take my lad to what would be his first City game I just had to be there; to witness the event, and to lend the folks a hand.

And I am delighted to report that he had a great time, eating Smarties and Pringles with his back to the pitch, while “fixing my seat” with a stone he had picked up from the floor; so he showed more imagination than anyone in the City team that day. Fair’s fair, it is a bit much expecting a 3 year old to remain interested throughout a 90 minute match; but then it is tough on anyone who isn’t in a yogic trance to sit through a pre-season friendly at City, so I think he did really well.

Then Wednesday saw me sat back in my old seat to watch the Portsmouth game – well, it was one of the few home matches before Christmas not to be televised, and I always thought I would probably go to our first match of the season – and while at the start of the match I wondered if I would miss my jaunts to the City of Manchester stadium, by the second half of the nil-nil draw I was convinced of the rightness of my decision. By full time I was desperate to get home.

So yesterday truly marked the start of the new regime; perhaps fittingly, while last season’s home fixture against Arsenal was my last as a season ticket holder, yesterday’s home match against the same team was the first where I chose The Weavers over Eastlands.

It will be interesting to see how becoming an armchair fan affects my viewpoint. When I was someone who attended every home game I could I hated the 5:15 Saturday kick-offs; they were a real pain in the arse, completely buggering up your Saturday night. Now, however, I think they’re great. I pop to the pub, have a few pints, pick up a take-away pizza on the way home, and we are tucking into our Thin-Crust Sicilians with extra jalapenos while others are stuck on the match bus, or in a traffic jam. Certainly it seems a far more painless way to watch a somewhat fortuitous victory.

So I don’t know when I will grace a City home match again, not while Sky give me every opportunity to go to the pub instead. The next home game that is not on telly and where I am available is Bolton on the 23rd of December, and that fixture hardly sets the heart racing. Christmas shopping and an impending new born may scupper any chance of me going to that game, even if I want to. But after Porto and then Portsmouth, perhaps for the sake of neatness I’ll wait to see if we ever play Port Vale, either in the cup or even in the league, before I once again watch a City match in the flesh.

I may be in for a long wait.

Pushmi-Pullyu

A few months ago I wrote about the “pull economy”, or more specifically about Lulu; a self-publishing website where you are able to upload your novel or whatever to their server, and if (perhaps a big “if”) someone wants to purchase a copy it can be printed off on demand and shipped out to your Mum, or whoever has actually stumped up the hard cash for the book.

Fine for self-publishing I thought, but I went on to wonder if

it could also show the way forward for more general book publishing in the future. For as long as people like me enjoy browsing in bookshops then I imagine there will always be a need for long print runs in order to fill up all those shelves in the stores; but on the face of it I can see no reason why a company like Amazon will in future need to hold any stock at all if technology is able to allow each book to be printed on demand as and when a customer orders it. In addition, theoretically no book need ever be out of print again, indeed the very term “out of print” could become an anachronism; just so long as they are held on file somewhere ready to be printed then all books, no matter how old or obscure, could be available whenever a potential customer wants to buy a copy.

Well, yesterday I read an article in The Economist concerning the future of Amazon.com. What do you know but towards the end of the article it states that

Amazon subsidiary, BookSurge, is busy courting publishers to have their works scanned into digital files. Modern printing techniques allow books to be printed relatively cheaply on demand, “whether it’s one copy or one thousand”, Greg Greeley, head of media products at Amazon, said when BookSurge was acquired last April.

On-demand printing is particularly suited to lower-volume books and those that would ordinarily be “out of print”. Amazon already sells print-on-demand books, although that is “invisible” to consumers, Mr Bezos (Amazon’s CEO) has said, because they look exactly like any other books.

That’ll be me then; speculating and dreaming of a bold and exiting future, while unwittingly already being way behind the curve. There’s clearly a reason why I’m not in business.

PostScript: Yes, I know, I know. I will try to stop writing posts concerning week old Economist articles; but if you ever wanted this blog to be innovative and topical then I’m sure you would have abandoned me long ago. I hope the fact that you’re still here means that you know what you’re getting.

Immigrant Song

I was never entirely convinced by the Tories’ conversion to “green” policies, so it was encouraging that with their “Damian Green” policy they sounded like they were right back on track.
I’m talking about them talking about immigration, of course, and it is always fun to revisit the subject, especially in the light of the twattish John Reid stating that “we have to get away from this daft so-called politically correct notion that anybody who wants to talk about immigration is somehow a racist.” He is right, of course – I’m talking about immigration right now – but I think it is also valid to say that often, when people complain about immigration, racist is indeed exactly what they are.

Times change. Not that long ago all asylum seekers were castigated as bogus felons who were really just economic migrants. Now the bandwagon has moved on and everyone is having a pop at the economic migrants themselves, especially in the light of Romania and Bulgaria’s impending accession into the EU.

The figures from the Home Office regarding the number of migrants from the recent accession countries certainly appear to have caused a stir (perhaps 600,000 rather than the expected 15,000), but why? If you feel there is a problem with immigrants, what difference do the actual numbers make? If you think foreigners are causing you a problem, then were you to discover that in fact only 500 Poles had entered the country that would be irrelevant. Similarly, if you feel that we have absorbed recent migrants brilliantly, if it were revealed that in reality over 5 million have entered the country it still shouldn’t matter. What is the right number of immigrants anyway? Don’t ask because no one can answer, save for a few hard-line racists who tend towards the zero figure.

Recent complaints from places such as Southampton and Slough have made the point that recent arrivals have put a strain upon public services. But have they? Latest figures show that 94% of recent immigrants are working and paying taxes to provide for those services, quite possibly paying additional bus and train fares for empty seats on public transport while “native Brits” (copyright Laban Tall) sit in their cars. But Manchester too has recently complained that the large increase in the city’s population since the last census is not reflected in the grant they receive from central government, but their increase is largely a result of internal migration rather than an influx of foreigners, due to increased housing in the city centre. If local government grants don’t take account of recent population increases, then that is a fault in the formula in funding local services rather than with immigration per se. What’s the difference in essence?

What about the complaint that recent migrants depress the wages of, say, plumbers? Apart from the fact that evidence for this is often thin on the ground, are we saying that plumbers should be a protected profession where their supply is limited so that the rest of us have to take a day off work for the pleasure of waiting in all day for a plumber to fail to turn up, and then pay an artificially exorbitant call out charge when he finally does arrive? Perhaps while we are at it we should cut the number of places at college for trainee plumbers so we can further cement the existing plumbers’ market power? I don’t think so.

But regarding immigration, things have been getting a little bit weird. Traditionally the “left” have favoured immigration, while the “right” have largely opposed it; but recently, certain bloggers’ favourite whipping girl Polly Toynbee has been arguing against open borders within the EU, as has the well-respected Labour MP Frank Field (I say well-respected, I’ve always thought of him as a bit of a tit, but there you go). In which case I think this is all a useful reminder of what I have argued for ages; that stated differences between right and left are overwhelmingly silly and pointless. For one thing, there was always the fact that while you could define the right as racist and the left as internationalist, you could also point to the right as being for free markets (and free movement of labour) while the left supports government intervention (including immigration controls). This is still a generalisation, however, and I prefer a simpler definition of the argument; that it is not between right and left, but between right and wrong.

Strip away the surrounding arguments and I think most people fall back into a default setting. Some start from the point of view that immigration is wrong; their liberalism, so to speak, comes from the practical, grudging acknowledgment that some newcomers may be required to push around hospital beds, or diagnose cancers, but really they are against immigration. On the other hand there are others who say that ideally anyone from anywhere can move to anyplace, that we should have full freedom of movement; that regrettably this is may not always be practical – for example, we may not currently be able to have totally open borders for people to emigrate to a country just to claim state benefit unless we are determined to bankrupt the country – but the onus should be on proving how a new immigrant can damage our economy. I know that you should respect others’ points of view, but in my opinion it is clear cut; the latter are right and the former wrong.

You may say that most people are somewhere in the middle, but at heart I think people fit into one of the two camps. Many may sound pro-immigration, arguing for greater numbers into this country; but if they stress the fact that it is simply for the good of our economy, and that immigration is in our gift rather than an inalienable right, then they fit into the first group. Meanwhile, some of the recent left wing converts to the anti-immigration line may lie in the latter group, that they support open borders in principle but genuinely feel recent immigrants are doing harm; but as with their right wing brethren their evidence seems more anecdotal than factual.

I don’t think there has ever been a time when some people haven’t said “okay, I’ll admit we’ve handled previous immigrants well, and they have contributed to society, but this time enough is enough, we can’t handle more, we are full up”. I suspect that following the accession of Romania and Bulgaria, if there are no restrictions placed on movement and when the British economy has failed to implode as a consequence, the arguments will move on to Turkey’s attempts to join the EU. However, I start from the viewpoint that a Manchurian and a Mancunian have exactly the same right to be allowed to live in Liverpool if they so wish; and if the debate is between right and wrong then I am happy to be on the right wing.

Update 28/8/06: My wife has just pointed out that the line “I prefer a simpler definition of the argument; that it is not between right and left, but between right and wrong” is a corny load of old toss worthy of Tony Blair; and I have to agree. Criticism noted. I will try not to do it again.

Update 12/11/06: Speaking on this morning’s Sunday AM, and discussing immigration, shadow home-secretary David Davies said “this isn’t actually about whether it’s right or left, it should be about whether it’s right or wrong”. I feel physically sick.