Always The Bridegroom, Never The Bride

by Quinn

There are a handful of arguments against gay marriage, and they’re all pretty shit. Watching a Newsnight discussion on the subject yesterday turned out to be a frustrating dialogue of the deaf, but that’s half understandable. It’s difficult for the pro-gay marriage brigade to listen to and engage with the antis when the latter aren’t really making any sense. Here, seemingly, are the main points against gay marriage, and if these have been expanded upon elsewhere, and my objections either been put forward by those in favour of gay marriage or answered by those against, then it hasn’t happened within my earshot.

  • Marriage is a vital institution; important to the very fabric of society, and to tamper with it would be crazy.
    Let’s take that as read, for the time being, for the sake of argument. If marriage is so vital, surely extending it to other sections of society is a good thing? More importantly, just what does anyone think will happen if we tamper with this cornerstone institution which is suddenly so brittle? Literally, in what way would marriage be destroyed and lose its purpose? Even at a best guess, just what will be the terrible consequences of gay marriage of which we are being warned, because I’ve not heard anyone explicitly state what they think might happen, just some airy-fairy notion that bad things might. Personally I need more to go on before I agree with restricting others’ rights.
  • Marriage is an ancient tradition, and has always been between one man and one woman; to allow gays to marry is not to amend but to totally redefine it.
    Perhaps, but this begs the question why has it traditionally been between a man and a women? Did some philosophers get together to devise a societal institution and look at all the alternatives? Did they test the concept of gay marriage by way of Socratic dialogue including a full review of all the available empirical evidence before finally settling on the idea that this new fangled “marriage” thing was best served by only being between and man and a woman? Or has marriage been solely between partners of the opposite sex because of convention; because homosexuality was ignored, illegal or considered an abomination by various people at various times? And if so (and it is) is that any reason to stick with the status quo?

At heart the anti-gay marriage lobby is against gay marriage because they don’t like the idea of marriage between gays; but they know that this is a pathetically week argument on its own, as shown by the briefly ubiquitous Milo Yiannopoulos last night openly stating that he thinks straight relationships are superior to gay ones but failing to give a reason, because there isn’t one, because they’re not. So to bolster their case he and others engage in a reductive, circular argument drawing on the historical fact that marriage has always been between a man and a woman; but the reason marriage has historically been between a men and a woman is because historically people like them didn’t like the idea of marriage between gays. Which is where this paragraph came in.

Anyway, this is before we even get onto the other nonsense excuse heard last night and seemingly made up on the hoof that marriage is about bringing up your own biological offspring – obvious bullshit for several obvious bullshit reasons far too obvious and bullshitty for me to waste my time with here – and the old canard that marriage is the best way to build a stable relationship for said children, a cart before the horse argument since surely it’s rather more likely that it is stable relationships that do more generally lead to marriage.

Finally, though, I will concede one point; the fear that if gay marriage is legalised equality legislation will force churches to carry out gay wedding ceremonies against their consciences. Now, I have my doubts here – churches seem to find lots of reasons at the moment to refuse to marry people they don’t want to, and I don’t see why that would change – but funnily enough this issue is in the same ball park as the subject of that post; you know, the one I didn’t write about last week. So perhaps this will give me the kick up the arse to get it finished.

So consider this a rapid-fire teaser post to another thing possibly coming soon. Something to look forward to, you lucky people.

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