The Obscurer

Month: September, 2005

Wash Out

I picked a bad time to do the washing up this afternoon. It’s not a chore I usually mind doing on my days off; it can be a pleasant break from Cbeebies, and I get to listen to a bit of Radio 5 on my swish Pure Tempus-1 digital radio. Today, however, while doing the dishes I innocently blundered upon a live broadcast of Tony Blair’s speech to the Labour Party conference. Did he really walk on stage to Sham 69’s “If The Kids Are United”? Yes, I’m afraid he did.

So, how did it go? Well, surprisingly, quite well I thought. No major surprises, nothing to get worked up about, pretty average all in all. The only thing that really annoyed me was that once I had drained the water I realised that I had left two breakfast bowls in the living room, but not to worry; I’ve just placed them by the side of the sink and I will do them next time around.

Blair’s speech? Oh, fuck knows. I switched off; first mentally, and then, when I felt my blood start to boil at his mention of “a radical extension of summary powers to police and local authorities”, literally. I would rather wash the pots in silence. So I did.

Post Script: My favourite Labour conference was a couple of years ago. We were on holiday, staying in a cottage in Cornwall, our movements somewhat restricted by my then three-month old son. Blair’s speech that year was memorable for a hilarious, nonsensical line about the Tories being in danger of going “back where they’ve never been, in 100 years, ’til now”.

But that was trumped by a speech from a sycophantic party hack who praised Blair for having had the courage to remove Nasser Hussein from power; just a few weeks after Nasser had indeed resigned the England captaincy. If Blair really was behind that act then I’m surprised he doesn’t make more of it. After all, the England cricket team look in a far better shape than Iraq does right now, where I believe Blair had a hand in toppling that other Hussein fellow?

Ad Hoc

The other day I watched a programme on ITV2 as part of their 50th anniversary celebrations. This one listed the best 20 adverts in the history of ITV, and it was okay. In common with all “list” programmes it had its fault, and in particular this programme shared similar flaws with a Channel 4 programme from a few years back called The Hundred Best Adverts Ever, Ever, Ever, or something similar.

I don’t just mean that they picked adverts I don’t like – that is bound to happen with a subjective list – but that they restricted each product to one advert only. So, Guinness, which has always had brilliant adverts, gets represented solely by that “horses and surfers, tick-followed-tock” one; a fine advert to be sure, but is seems a shame that other commercials in their canon never seem to get considered.

Tango is another brand that has a fine history in producing quality adverts, but again suffers because only the original “orange bloke slapping someone on the chops” advert seems to be included on these programmes. In fact, the greatest advert of all time is for Tango; but it isn’t for orange flavour, or even apple flavour. No, the best television commercial ever was when Tango advertised their blackcurrant flavour, for the one and only time.

I know there are more important things going on in the world, but I think it is an injustice that this genius of an advert has been consistently overlooked; but no longer. Inspired by the ITV programme I typed something along the lines of “blackcurrant tango advert” into Google and came up with this gem of a site where you can watch this little masterpiece again and again in all its glory; and a load of other adverts while you’re are at it.

Watch it, and just see if I’m not right.

Flatter To Deceive

People cleverer than I have been discussing the issue of a flat tax across medias both new and old recently. It is a subject that interests me, and although I don’t have a detailed knowledge of the ins and outs of the tax, I do have an opinion.

Simply put, the idea of a flat tax is to replace the current tiered levels of income tax, which increases from 10%, through 22% and up to 40% as income rises, with a single tax rate regardless of how much one earns. Instinctively I would expect to oppose such a move as it not a progressive system of taxation where the richest pay a higher proportion of their income in tax; but the matter is not that simple. Proponents of a flat tax tend to favour a higher personal allowance, of around £10,000-£15,000 rather than our current £4895; as the poorer one is, the larger proportion of your income is made up of the untaxed personal allowance, there is still a level of proportionality to the tax. In addition, with a simplified taxation system there are fewer places for the rich and their accountants to hide their wealth in a thicket of tax loopholes, and levels of compliance increase; this is another way in which the flat tax can in fact be considered fairer to the poor. An accountant friend of mine tells me that there are slim picking these day for those trying to avoid tax; but still, I do think that a flat tax has much to commend it, more than I initially thought I would.

Not surprisingly my pals at the Daily Mail also find the flat tax an interesting idea, although I suspect for rather different reasons to mine. I imagine that some of the things that attract me to the flat tax are the sorts of things that cause the Mail to have reservations, but we cannot always choose our allies and we certainly can’t choose their motivations. However, there remains a problem for the Mail.

When the Adam Smith Institute advocated a 22% flat tax with a £12,000 personal allowance its studies showed that no one would be worse off financially as a consequence. Unfortunately, such a system would accrue only £88 billion in revenues to the treasury rather than the £138 billion currently raised by income tax. Doubtless the ASI don’t see that as too much of a problem, believing that government takes too much money from us all in the first place. Secondly, it is argued that the greater economic efficiencies and incentives resulting from a flat tax will make up this shortfall in revenue (as people are not penalised for working harder and earning more money) and indeed they may do; but they may not. I know the ASI is interested in deregulating gambling (well, they are interested in deregulating pretty much everything, and so support deregulating gambling as a consequence) but to gamble with the finances of the country seems a bit risky to me.

The Economist then commissioned a study into the flat tax to see what would be the result if it was introduced at a level that was revenue neutral (ie. raised the same amount of revenue as is collected by the current system of income tax). It found that there could be a flat tax with a rate of 30% and a personal allowance of £10,000. Those earning less than around £20,000 and more than £50,000 were better off as a result of this change. Unfortunately for the Mail, the people in the middle-income group (earning between £20,000 and £50,000) would end up paying more in tax; these are the very inhabitants of “middle England” that the Mail claims to represent and who pays its wages, the same people who the Mail currently consistently complains are being clobbered by the government and its numerous stealth taxes.

So the Daily Mail will ultimately probably not charge the barricades demanding a flat tax, and if the figures above do accurately show how it would work in practice, then it looks a less enticing prospect than it does in theory.

But of course there is one way we could get a flatter (if not flat) tax tomorrow, and that is simply by combining income tax with the employees national insurance contribution. Then, rather than having an incentive-denting leap in tax rates from the standard 22% to the whopping top rate of 40%, we would instead find that our tax on income only rises from 33% (22% income tax, 11% NI) to 41% (40% income tax and 1%NI) at the top level. Perhaps if we did this, and publicised this “change” in our tax regime, then we would reap some of the benefits the ASI think will come from abandoning a system that so penalises those who work harder. Do you reckon?

I still think the flat tax has much to recommend it, especially when, as I have just explained, the current system is not as progressive as it is sometimes painted; even less progressive when you consider other taxes such as VAT and the Council Tax. I am still quite attracted to the theory; but at the moment I need to know a little bit more about the facts.

A Cross Post

(cross posted at Biased BBC)

Not content with sometimes showing Muslims in a fair light, rather than portraying every last one of them as the evil jihadists we know them to be, the BBC has now decided to try to rehabilitate the failed doctrine of communism; and what’s more, to target pre-school children in their despicable plan.

How else can you explain the new segment Summerton Mill in the children’s programme Tikkabilla? For there, in an animated feature that purports to be a simple tale of rural nostalgia, you will find a cat, called Mao Tse-tung! This character is depicted as a sleepy and somewhat benign figure; a far cry from the former ruler of communist China, responsible for the Cultural Revolution and complicit in the deaths of millions through famine. Furthermore, is it any coincidence that the cow in the show is called Francois? Named after Francois Mitterand, former socialist president of France, no doubt. I have yet to work out a leftist connection for the main character of Dan, or the dog Fluffer, but I’ll bet they’re there somewhere, and given a few hours spent in my darkened room in a twisted rage I will come up with something.

It must all seem so very amusing to the metropolitan Marxists in their ivory towers at Broadcasting House, as they plot new ways to indoctrinate our youth and spread their pervasive plans for a communist international. Realising that they have been thwarted time and again by the keen eyes of Biased BBC as we battle their worldview across the adult media, they have decided to switch tactics and get at our children. Who was it said “give me the child at two and by screening BBC propaganda I will show you a communist as an adult”? Actually, I’m not sure anyone has ever said that, but that doesn’t make it any less true. Well tough, BBC, because we have spotted your game, and we will fight. And win!

To make matters worse, Summerton Mill appears to have replaced Bonny, Banana and Mo, which was my bestest, most favourite part of Tikkabilla. Just what do I pay my license fee for?* In fact if I wasn’t secretly in love with presenter Sarah-Jane Honeywell I wouldn’t bother watching Tikkabilla at all anymore.

* I don’t actually pay my license fee, being so old and curmudgeonly that I get one for free, but if I did have to pay then I wouldn’t anyway, as a protest against the Biased Broadcasting Corporation and their unfair telly-tax, which you have to pay regardless of whether you watch the BBC or not, although I do, a lot. But you get my point.

Update 26/9/05: A big thank you to whoever nominated this post for inclusion in Tim Worstall’s latest BritBlog Round-Up. It is nice to know that I struck a cord (chord?) with someone, and that there are others out there equally frustrated by the BBC’s one-eyed prejudice!

I Didn't Lose Myself In The Crowd

By now you either already know, or aren’t interested, that John Band’s blog Shot By Both Sides in no more. I don’t know the full details, but apparently someone took exception to something he had written and chose to respond through blackmail and threats, including contacting John’s employers. John B felt he had no option other than to pull the plug.

I was never a regular reader of SBBS; it was one of those annoyingly prolific blogs with posts coming out faster than I could read them. He was a bit hit and miss, a bit near the knuckle and provocative at times (obviously too provocative in the opinion of one particularly twattish individual) and I can’t say I agreed with everything he wrote; but when he was good he was brilliant.

One post I remember reading a few months back concerned his views on pseudonyms for bloggers; unless you were employed by the government he couldn’t understand why people didn’t write under their real names. I suspect he is reviewing his opinion on this matter, and may well reappear soon with a different blog under a different name, perhaps with a different Magazine song as its title. I hope so, and wish him luck.

When I started The Obscurer I hadn’t read another blog, and so I just thought it was natural to write under an assumed name. No, in case you havn’t guessed I’m not called Quinn; who refers to themselves by their surname for God’s sake? It isn’t even my surname; I picked it as it is the name of both the central, enigmatic character in one of my favourite novels (Paul Auster’s The New York Trilogy) and of a former City hero (Niall). Since then I have toyed with writing under my own name, but decided against it. Other than the slight egotism of seeing my name in “print” across the internet I can’t see any advantages. There are, however, some definite disadvantages; for example, I haven’t yet, but I may want to write something scathing and critical about my employers whilst simultaneously keeping my job. A pseudonym is great for that, allowing more room for manoeuvre when it comes to such self censorship.

John B will still be writing over at The Sharpener, apparently; and I will keep my eyes peeled to see if he does start up a new blog; The Pseudo-nym Magazine, perhaps?