The Obscurer

MasterChef Is Back

We interrupt our weekly Twitter digests with a quick word from MasterChef HQ. Because if it is said that a picture paints a thousand words, how few words can you get away with writing if, rather than carefully scripting a post, you instead chuck up a quick animated video?

A few weeks ago I came across this video, wherein Flying Rodent took some of the words from this post by Devil’s Kitchen and put them to his own animation, with a little help from Xtranormal, a new(ish) video-making site. DK’s original post actually starts off quite intelligently, more or less echoing my own thoughts on the differences between “positive libertarianism” and “negative libertarianism”; but then he goes and ruins it all – at least by my reckoning – in claiming that he belongs to the former category. I’m sure he honestly believes it; but the rest of his post is pretty much DK-by-numbers in my experience, the sort of thing I’ve read umpteen times before. Anyway, Flying Rodent’s animated version lifts up our Devil’s humble prose beautifully by placing his words in a more fitting context altogether, and with hilarious consequences.

Which got me to thinking about whether I could also use Xtranormal to amusing effect – perhaps by animating my MasterChef post from a few months back – and do you know what, I’m not sure that I can. But here, regardless, is the fruit of my efforts.

Twitterings: 12th-18th June

  • Friday morning Pavement lyric #5: “Zürich is stained and it’s not my fault. Just hold me back or let me run.” [#]
  • Come on you sparrows; those bullying starlings have buggered off from our bird feeder. Now’s your chance! [#]
  • Too late. The starlings are back. You’ll have to be quicker than that. [#]
  • It’s taken Adam&Joe’s podcast to point out that “gelatine” should be “gelignite” in “Killer Queen”; unless Freddie meant the setting agent? [#]
  • Guess what? Apparently gelignite is also known as “blasting gelatine” or “gelatine dynamite”. Perhaps in future I’ll google before I tweet. [#]
  • @antonvowl Cheers, just spotted it. I’m ignorant in a whole multitude of ways. in reply to antonvowl [#]
  • While faffing about on the internet it seems I now have a FriendFeed. Heed not. I don’t really get it I doubt I’ll be using it. [#]
  • RT @Martin_Carr: Must say I’m looking forward to the Archers today. It’s like The Wire with cows. [#]
  • @asgerd I know. They need to confirm who they’re speaking to, but you need to know they are who they say they are. Result: an impasse. in reply to asgerd [#]
  • [via del.icio.us] The BNP / Egging Laffer Curve — via Crooked Timber: “If nobody ever egged Nick Griffin, then he’d never get egged, which I presume nobody wants. On the other hand, if he was egged every single time he went out, then he’d never leave his house – result, no eggings. But I really don’t believe that we’re on the right hand side of that Laffer Curve, not yet.” http://tr.im/oneW [#]
  • [via del.icio.us] David Mitchell: “Sir Alan Sugar is perfectly suited to the job of “enterprise tsar” because it’s not a job – it’s an exercise in presentation, just like his role on the BBC. In less bewildered times, an ambitious opposition would welcome the opportunity to ridicule such a disastrously craven government appointment. Instead, they’re meanly trying to block it because they’re annoyed they didn’t think of it themselves.” http://tr.im/owfu [#]

Twitterings: 5th-11th June

  • Friday morning Pavement lyric #4: “Simply put, I want to grow old. Dying does not meet my expectations.” [#]
  • Lost the KFC meal-deal showdown: capitulated, then defaulted to Coke when Fruit Shoot would’ve made more sense. At least I didn’t Go Large. [#]
  • Just written a poem where I rhyme “fire” with “desire”, “higher and higher” and “funeral pyre”. Anyone know whether that’s been done before? [#]
  • A colleague mentioned in passing that he doesn’t own any Beatles records. How does anyone manage that? [#]
  • Working nights and having a hydraulic drill going outside your house in the morning is not a classic combination I feel I can recommend. [#]

Twitterings: 29th May-4th June

  • Friday morning Pavement lyric #3: “Man-made deltas and concrete rivers, the south takes what the north delivers.” [#]
  • To North Wales! Quick! Before the sun goes in! [#]
  • Buying a bucket and spade in Llandudno is more difficult than you’d think, now that Woolworths has closed. [#]
  • David Cameron: “I’ve just seen a tabby cat, called Toby, playing with string. And this can only strengthen my call for a General Election.” [#]
  • @Nosemonkey Fame indeed. How does it feel to know that your every utterance was monitored by a BBBC blogger with his finger on a stopwatch? in reply to Nosemonkey [#]
  • Whenever I hear someone moan about how they’re constantly receiving poor customer service, I suspect they’re an unreconstructed knobend. [#]
  • Son’s 6th birthday party and associated mass tidy-up is finally over. Think I’ll unwind with a can of Stella and The Archers. [#]
  • The best thing about election day is that church is cancelled. [#]
  • [via del.icio.us] How to flip your house; good advice for all those who want to stay just “within the rules” like all those dastardly MPs. Information supplied courtesy of…why…the MPs scourge the Daily Telegraph! Via Small Differences. http://tr.im/n1xQ [#]

Twitterings: 22nd-28th May

  • Friday morning Pavement lyric #2: “Maybe someone’s gonna save me, my heart is made of gravy, and the laps I swim from lunatics don’t count.” [#]
  • How long do you reckon I’ll keep tying my snapped left shoelace in a tiny bow rather than bother to replace it? [#]
  • I know I’m late to the party, but isn’t Spotify amazing? Yesterday was all about reliving my 4AD phase; today it’s my Creation Records era. [#]
  • I can understand that drinks mugs can go missing. It’s their sudden, mysterious and unexplained re-appearance that freaks me out. [#]
  • Ok, that’s us! No work or school for anyone in this house for another 11 whole days. Happy Whitsun! Now: who was meant to book the weather? [#]
  • To describe replica ’80s football shirts as “retro” is: a) wrong b) a sign of my age or c) both ? [#]
  • Another Bank Holiday Monday, another opportunity to show “The Little Vampire” on BBC2. [#]
  • Redbush tea reminds me of the taste of dental floss. Oddly, this seems a good thing. But then I mourn the passing of McDonalds Rootbeer. [#]
  • I can never tire of watching Tom & Jerry play Liszt’s Hungarian Rhapsody No.2. [#]
  • It seems that I am now unable to get my shoes back after ten-pin bowling without thinking of that episode of “Curb Your Enthusiasm”. [#]
  • @gezd There’s nothing wrong with the #stopthebnp hashtag, but personally I prefer #thebnparetwats. in reply to gezd [#]
  • No wonder ITV are struggling. Do they know their audience? If they did, surely they would instruct their presenters to root for Barca? [#]
  • Clive Tyldesley must have read my last tweet; he’s just acknowledged the many UK viewers who will have cheered the Eto’o goal. [#]
  • The Apprentice on the telly, European Cup on the laptop. Who says men can’t multi-task? [#]
  • Me. I don’t honestly think I’m managing to follow either. [#]
  • News Flash: Margaret Moran to step down at the next election, in an attempt to thwart Esther Rantzen’s bid to become an MP. [#]
  • @gezd I believe there was a City version of that song – “Now that we’ve got Quinn what are we gonna win,with him?” – but I never heard it. in reply to gezd [#]
  • Well done @Nosemonkey, you did grand on BBC4. A telly natural? [#]