The Play's The Thing

by Quinn

I have just come across this article from this week’s Sunday Telegraph reporting the results of a survey of 100 primary schools across the country regarding which play, if any, they are putting on this Christmas. If true the results are pretty shocking, as they reveal that “only one in five schools are planning to perform a traditional nativity play this year” celebrating the birth of Jesus. Yes, that’s twenty percent.

Now, many people will respond to this news with understandable anger; for myself, I just find it very sad and disappointing. I’m no militant, not by any stretch of the imagination, but I really do think that it is in all of our interests if we can join together and try to promote the true meaning of Christmas.

I mean, it’s not difficult, the clue is in the word, isn’t it? Christmas? As in, err, Father Christmas? Heard of him? Now I’m not too sure who this Jesus bloke is, but I don’t see any reason why he should hijack our perfectly good celebration of commercialism, indulgence and the-telly’s-not-quite-as-good-as-it-used-to-be-when-we-were-kids-is-it that more or less keeps the economy spinning. We really must fight to get this massive 20% figure whittled down.

Perhaps this “Jesus” can get his own festival at some other time of the year, rather than gatecrash our party; just as long as it’s well away from our other great celebrations, like Halloween or Burns Night. Sometime in the Spring would be good, that is if the powers that be can actually get their heads together and nail down a single, definite annual date for the thing.

Anyway, for what it’s worth, here is my own survey, which I can absolutely guarantee you is a complete waste of your time. Enjoy.

Please select the one statement below that most closely corresponds with your point of view

Christmas just gets earlier and earlier every year. I mean, I saw a Christmas tree in Woolworths in September this year. September! What next? Well, August, presumably. It’s ridiculous.
Christmas has effectively been outlawed by the politically correct do-gooder liberal elite who run this country. I read in the Daily Mail that the police arrested someone for possession of tinsel the other week. It’s ridiculous.
I moan about both of the above points, despite the fact that they contradict each other. You may have seen me on BBC 2’s “Grumpy Old Christmas” which they broadcast in November, for God’s sake, and which is banned. I’m ridiculous.