Tsunami Seamonsters

by Quinn

Welcome to the website that is the number one hit on Google for tsunami seamonsters. Not for “tsunami seamonsters” as a single phrase mind you. Inexplicably there are no hits for “tsunami seamonsters”; until now that is. But if you want to know about tsunamis and seamonsters, then Google believe this should be your first port of call.

But not just Google; AltaVista, Yahoo!, Lycos, A9 and the BBC all place me in pole position for such a search. On Info I have been pipped into the number two slot by something called Neptune’s Web, while MSN leave me languishing way down, just sneaking into the top 10. I wonder what I could have done to offend them?

Now there is no mystery as to why someone typing tsunami and seamonsters into a search engine will get to my site. I wrote a post a few weeks back about the Asian tsunami, or rather about peoples’ reactions to the tsunami. I also update the Listening section on my sidebar quite regularly, and recently The Wedding Present’s CD “Seamonsters” has been on my turntable (or at least it has been in my CD player beneath my turntable) and so has been mentioned on this site.

No, the real enigma is why two (yes two) people have found their way to The Obscurer by typing tsunami seamonsters into a search engine. Is there something we don’t know? Is there something we aren’t being told? Are we unwittingly enjoying the twilight of the human race as we know it, unaware of the threat to our very existence posed by these frightening creatures? Could it be that only two people in the world, one from from Fenton, Missouri, the other from Willboro, New Jersey, are aware of this danger, and desperate for further information they both made their way through cyberspace to this website, and presumably were somewhat disappointed to find the meaningless ramblings of a nearly middle-aged Briton, droning on about football and television, about the perils of de-icing cars and the parking problems in Stockport town centre.

Well allow me to make amends. Could the next person to arrive here looking for tsunami seamonsters please avail themselves of the comments facility? Please, reveal what the concern is; what have we to fear? Leave your details in case any further seamonster hunters pass by; that way you can get in touch with each other, and perhaps I can play a small part in kick starting the action required to save mankind from this maritime menace.

I don’t want any thanks for this service, or any form of reward; although a blue plaque on my house would be nice; I know just the spot for it. Nothing fancy, just so long as it mentions “saviour of humanity”; something like that.