Yearly Archives: 2009

Twitterings: 24th-30th July

  • Friday morning Pavement lyric #11: "No more absolutes, no more absolutes. Stick your penitentiary clothes inside the vent and run along." [#]
  • RT @OberonHouston +++ BREAKING NEWS +++ CAMERON TO DEMAND GENERAL ELECTION [#]
  • +++ MORE BREAKING NEWS +++ SKY TO GO DARK AT NIGHT-TIME [#]
  • If there's one thing I just don't "get", it's Tofu. I mean, I know it's beancurd; but what is it now? [#]
  • City's "Tevez – Welcome To Manchester" poster + Ferguson's brittle response = job done. [#]
  • Just read an email from Premier Inn saying "Your booking in confirmed" as "Your joy in unconfined". I think I need a rest. [#]
  • Whatever happened to our "barbecue summer"? http://amplify.com/u/e12 [#]

Twitterings: 17th-23rd July

  • Friday morning Pavement lyric #10: "The wicket keeper is down." [#]
  • The next person to refer to public- and private-sector "apartheid" gets a bop on the nose from me. (My money's on Digby Jones.) [#]
  • In the sun, in the Lakes. As near perfect day as one could reasonably expect. Tomorrow? It's bound to be my turn to come down with swine flu [#]

Twitterings: 10th-16th July

  • Friday morning Pavement lyric #9: "Herr Proctor offers said land for a song. But no one wants to sing." [#]
  • Virgin Media's direct mail department exhibits an admirable persistence, bordering on harassment. I'll give them that. [#]
  • Dropping an apple into my son's packed lunch is a triumph of hope over experience. [#]
  • Been press-ganged into a yogic workout, again, thanks to Waybuloo and an insistent 2-year-old. [#]
  • @iamnotsteve Fair's fair, ITV make The Street for the BBC, and that's ace. What? It's been cancelled? As you were then. http://bit.ly/6XowJ in reply to iamnotsteve [#]
  • @iamnotsteve No need to be scared. Only me. in reply to iamnotsteve [#]
  • Got a new mobile phone and I'm still at that in-between phase: the new one, I can't get my head round; the old one, seems archaic already. [#]

End Of The Road

After casting his eyes over the current media landscape, Nik Johnson felt moved to tweet:

Hey! You know what ITV do REALLY, REALLY well? Fucking nothing.

Well now, I think that’s a bit harsh. The new series of Jimmy McGovern’s The Street began last night, and although it is broadcast on BBC1, I noticed yesterday that it is in fact made by ITV Productions. The bigwigs at ITV presumably feel that their own schedule is so choc-full of quality that they can let this one go to the Beeb.

Anyway, talking of choc-full, I think that after three series of The Street they must surely be running out of homes on that eponymous road to house all of those famous actors, each with an agonising hour-long dilemma of their own (or more than one, if you’re Timothy Spall). Perhaps that’s the reason for the building work that featured in last night’s episode; is an extension being built to the street, in order to squeeze six more stars into six new-builds, so they can tackle six more tortuous moral issues in series four a year from now?

Jimmy McGovern himself discussed The Street with Mark Lawson on Radio 4’s Front Row yesterday. I’ve not listened to the programme yet, but today’s Guardian reports on the interview. I wonder what Jimmy had to say?

The current series of the BBC1 drama The Street will be the last, because of cuts in ITV Studios’ Manchester base, according to its creator, Jimmy McGovern.

McGovern, the award-winning creator of The Street and other dramas including Cracker, said on BBC Radio 4′s Front Row last night that he would not take the drama to another producer when ITV’s Manchester drama department is scrapped as part of the latest round of cuts at the broadcaster.

This means that the third series of The Street, which started on BBC1 last night, would be the last.

He said: “It’s finished now because ITV have closed down that drama unit. I am sure that’s why Michael Grade left because it was a content-led revival, he said, and they have closed down the producers of the best content.”

Oh. Right. Hmm. Looks like those builders can down tools. And it’s as you were then, Nik.

Twitterings: 3rd-9th July

  • Friday morning Pavement lyric #8: “Look around, around, the second drummer drowned. His telephone is found.” [#]
  • Junk mail from Barclaycard, with “nothing of *interest* in here…” written on the envelope. Geddit? Got it. Bin. [#]
  • Advert for Veet promises “touchably smooth legs”. Touchably. Touchably? TOUCHABLY?!? [#]
  • With a mark of 63% (15 correct answers out of 24) I’m the latest British Citizen to fail the UK Citizenship Test! Woo-hoo! http://tr.im/r5jM [#]
  • @gezd But will you be expelled from GrammarBlog for writing “deport me too” instead of “deport me to” in reply to gezd [#]
  • @hackneye Oh, there were plenty of guesses-that-came-off in my 63%. Have you decided where you want to be deported to? I fancy Spain. in reply to hackneye [#]
  • Sometimes it seems the only productive thing I do is to endlessly re-repair broken plastic toys with SuperGlue. But at least I have that. [#]
  • Manchester United: Dignified & Humble http://amplify.com/u/ap4 [#]

Not In My Name

In these tough economic times, of plummeting GDP and ballooning public debt, it is only right that all organisations, in both the public and private sector, look to cut costs wherever possible. Actually identifying such elusive efficiency savings is a notoriously tricky business; but if there is one place that can easily trim some unnecessary fat it must surely be the TaxPayers’ Alliance. For whenever a request is made for someone to spout some nonsense to a journalist from a moron-sheet, the TPA always seems able to find some spare part at a loose end just hanging around, killing time, busy doing nothing; or at least nothing so productive that they can’t drop everything and break off to chuck out a paragraph or two of blather for free.

A case in point is this article from yesterday’s Sunday Express entitled “Brown’s £1,200 Tax Bombshell”, which warns that “families face a £1,200-a-year tax bombshell after the next election if Labour win to meet Gordon Brown’s pledge to maintain lavish public spending levels”. The story is based upon figures calculated by the respected Institute for Fiscal Studies. One response, from Matthew Elliott of the (somewhat less respected) TaxPayers’ Alliance, reads

The Government must accept the urgent need for spending cuts.

People are heavily overtaxed already, and there is no way that anyone could afford tax rises equivalent to a whole new council tax every year. It is absolutely clear that massive savings could be made by ditching misguided policies, trimming bloated quangos and bringing the efficiency of the public sector up to the standard of the private sector.

The Government’s spending binge is totally unsustainable and must be killed off. The country cannot afford tax rises on this scale.

I’m certainly not going to argue with the idea that we should try to improve the efficiency of the public sector, and to trim any quango that is indeed bloated. But is it really true that “there is no way that anyone could afford tax rises equivalent to a whole new council tax every year”? What, not anyone? Not John Terry? Not Fred Goodwin? Not even Gordon Brown? Even closer to home, I’m far from flush but I reckon I could find an extra £100 a month if I absolutely had to. Of course, whether I should have to, or whether it is a good idea that I do, is another matter entirely. It is also something that the TaxPayers’ Alliance itself makes no real effort to answer, having decided long ago that any tax rise, ever, is just wrong.

But the problem with discounting fiscal measures on the basis that anyone could struggle to afford the consequences is that it leaves us pretty hamstrung when looking for ways to pay down our national debt. The TaxPayers’ Alliance thinks we should make public spending cuts; but what kind of cuts? If no one can afford a tax rise, can anyone in the public sector afford a pay cut, or even a pay freeze? Is there anyone in the public sector who can afford to be made redundant, even if they are only a Diversity, 5-a-day and LGBT Outreach Executive employed by OfTosh? If we are unable to countenance any action on the basis that it could make anyone worse off then it really does cut down the number of things that we can do.

Now, you may feel that all I am doing here is unfairly picking up on the clumsy use of the word “anyone” in the TPA’s statement. And perhaps I am. But the TaxPayers’ Alliance is not made up of stupid people, despite often giving that impression. For one thing, they gleefully reprinted the Express article in full on their website without correction or clarification. For another, when a recent report of theirs criticised the amounts of money that Local Authorities pay into their employees’ pension schemes on the grounds that the overall figure is equivalent to 21% of Council Tax receipts, they didn’t do so out if ignorance, unaware that Council Tax forms but a part of any council’s income; no, they did so in order to knowingly twist the facts, to make it seem as if councils are spending a fifth of their revenue on staff pensions, when they in fact pay in a far more modest sum. So, I can well believe that Matthew Elliott’s use of the word “anyone”, rather than being a slip of the tongue of an idiot, was a deliberate act to give his statement a more dramatic impact, and in preference to saying something more accurate, coherent, truthful; such as, for example, saying that he “feels” that it “appears” to him that “many” or at least “some” people “may” be unable to afford such a tax rise (you know, the sort of woolly back-covering that I often pepper my posts with). In deciding to go with the more striking – but bollocks – use of “anyone”, the TaxPayers’ Alliance has again shown itself up to be a lobby group of ideological zealots trying to make a political point, rather than a genuine pressure group working to look out for the taxpayer and to ensure we enjoy efficient public services.

Which brings us back to the start of this post, and the efficiency savings that all parts of the economy must look to make. Yes, let’s trim those bloated quangos, let’s; but while we’re at it, why not include wasteful think tanks in on the cull? Because speaking as a taxpayer myself, I don’t think that we’re getting value for money from the TaxPayers’ Alliance. Sure, it isn’t publicly funded, and one could reasonably argue that it is solely a matter for its paymasters to decide whether or not it is fulfilling its remit in a cost-effective manner. But the TPA does at least claim to speak for me, and while I may not directly contribute to its upkeep its funding still has to come from somewhere, and each pound that is blown on a staff member who could easily be replaced by a random quote generator represents an opportunity cost; a pound that could be more effectively invested somewhere – anywhere – else. And I don’t see how anyone genuinely interested in economic efficiency could possibly fail to agree.

Twitterings: 26th June-2nd July

  • Friday morning Pavement lyric #7: “We spoke of latent causes, sterile gauzes, and the bedside morale.” [#]
  • @michael_dennis If everyone listened to the Man From Delmonte song “M-I-C-H-A-E-L” it could improve things; it’s why I know how to spell it. in reply to michael_dennis [#]
  • @michael_dennis No, I can’t find it online either, so for the time being I’ve whacked it up here: http://www.obscurer.co.uk/michael.mp3 in reply to michael_dennis [#]
  • “Oh, that reminds me,” says my son on hearing the ice-cream van. “What of…post-war Vienna?” I replied. [#]
  • I wonder. Does knowing that our local ice-cream van plays the theme from “The Third Man” aid ones understanding of that last tweet? [#]
  • Blood & Treasure: Parable Of The Snake Illustrated http://amplify.com/u/936 [#]
  • Bloc Party appear to have a limitless supply of very average songs. [#]
  • *Never* giving my kids Doritos ever again. Currently trying to get them down off the ceiling by using the broom with the extendable handle. [#]
  • Flying Rodent: on Not Flying The Flag (How Bullshit Works, Part 14,302 ) http://amplify.com/u/97g [#]
  • Just broken a chisel trying to get some Morrison’s “Soft-Scoop” ice cream out of the tub. [#]
  • Cadbury’s “Freddo” has got to be my favourite amphibian-shaped chocolate bar. [#]
  • @hackneye Blimey, that’s two of my meagre band of twitter followers that have had swine flu. Hope you’re all on the mend. in reply to hackneye [#]

Police. Camera. Action?

Don Paskini recently pointed me in the direction of the blog of “Libertarian Lib Dem Charlotte Gore”, and specifically a post in which she explains why she will not be standing in a parliamentary election any time soon. This is probably a good decision on her part; among other reasons, Charlotte dismisses running for parliament because “It’s not for me, this life of trying to appeal to ‘people’.” Hmm. Libertarians “are at some point going to have to figure out how to address this problem about the “people” not wanting to vote for them,” points out Don, unless they are happy to run with

the alternative to winning popular support…to wait for a military dictator to do the hard work of securing power and then persuade him to hire them as policy advisers, as in Pinochet’s Chile. There’s nothing quite like having the overwhelming might of the state to crush dissent to enable libertarian ideas to get tried out.

Anyway, Charlotte does treat us to the sort of letter she would like to write to her prospective constituents, were she to ever give it a go and stand for election in Halifax. Her letter opens

Dear Halifax,
I’m looking for someone. It might be you. It might be someone you know.

It is at this point, were I to receive such a missive through the door, that I would probably scrunch it up and hurl it in the recycling; but this being the internet I did read on. And it’s an okay letter I suppose although somewhat simplistic, and certain points stated as fact are certainly arguable. However, it was Charlotte’s assertion that under this government “it has become illegal to take photographs of the police” that really caught my eye. Now, I don’t want it to seem as if I am singling Charlotte out here – the stated illegality of capturing the police on film is something I’ve read and heard umpteen times already and from many different sources, especially in relation to the footage of police officers’ actions during the G20 demonstrations – it’s just her misfortune that I’ve got a wee bit of time on my hands at the moment, so I’m able to put my thoughts, or what passes for my thought, down in words just now.

The prevalence of this complaint that it is now illegal to photograph the police lends me to believe that many people want this fact to be more widely known, and that they feel that not enough people are aware of this very serious assault on our civil liberties. I disagree. I think that in fact far too many people are aware of this “law”, and for one simple reason: it isn’t true. To inform others that photographing the police is against the law is at best mistaken, certainly hyperbolic, but at its worst it is a plain deception.

The law I’m assuming Charlotte is referring to is Section 76 of the Counter-Terrorism Act 2008, which amends Section 58 of the Terrorism Act 2000 to additionally read

58A Eliciting, publishing or communicating information about members of armed forces etc

(1) A person commits an offence who—

  (a) elicits or attempts to elicit information about an individual who is or has been—

  1. a member of Her Majesty’s forces,
  2. a member of any of the intelligence services, or
  3. a constable,

    which is of a kind likely to be useful to a person committing or preparing an act of terrorism, or

  (b) publishes or communicates any such information.

(2) It is a defence for a person charged with an offence under this section to prove that they had a reasonable excuse for their action.

I’d say that is pretty straightforward and self-explanatory, certainly not a blanket ban on photographing the police; yet this is the piece of legislation that has been reduced by many journalists and bloggers to read “Wah! We can’t take a picture of a copper! Like not never!” just as the smoking ban was for some bizarre reason over-simplified by many to mean “Wah! I can’t have a fag in the pub!” Except, while it is at least true that you can’t have a fag in a pub anymore (it’s just that the law itself is somewhat more detailed that that) it is clearly not true to say that the law now prevents the routine photographing of police officers.

Now, that is not to say that I don’t have misgivings about this law. There are plenty of pieces of anti-terrorist legislation around already, laws to prevent the commissioning of and acts preparatory to terrorism. Section 76 certainly seems like a classic case of New Labour inventing a brand-new, poorly drafted and pointless offence when there are perfectly decent existing offences that could do as good a job. I am also not so naïve that I’m not fully aware that in practice this law is certain to be misused by some officious officers anxious to prevent their actions from being captured on film and then broadcast to and scrutinised by a wider, curious public. The point is, though, that if they do try to prevent someone from taking legitimate photographs they will be misusing the law.

And the thing is that any law can be misused, laws are already misapplied; but that doesn’t instantly mean we should criticise a law or exaggerate its powers. This press release from the British Journal of Photographers back in January complained about the then prospective implementation of Section 76, by showing existing examples of heavy-handed police behaviour using existing laws. Then there was the example recently of someone being arrested for theft when handing a found mobile phone into a police station; but the fault there lies in the dickish judgement of the officer in question, not with the law. In response to such a case we need to tackle that particular officer’s actions; we don’t decide that we need to repeal the law on theft, or go around spreading erroneous rumour about it now being illegal to hand in found property. Well, certain tabloids may, but they have their own agendas; it’s just what they do.

My argument here is not simply motivated by pedantry; I think that it is vital that we fully and accurately know our rights. If you are arrested when handing-in a mobile phone at a police station it is important to know that “theft by finding” is not a made-up law, as some commenters on the Daily Mail’s website seem to think; but also that theft only applies when you are seeking to permanently deprive the owner of their property, which clearly cannot be the case when you are in the process of returning it. Similarly, if you believe that it is simply illegal to photograph a police officer under any circumstances, then should an officer try to prevent you from taking a snap of him you may feel compelled to comply, feeling that the law, however unjust, is on his side (indeed, perhaps as importantly, from reading some blogs and newspaper articles bemoaning that fact that photographing police officers is now illegal, the police officer in question may himself genuinely believe that the law is on his side). Far better, surely, to know where you stand legally, and to refuse any attempt to prevent you from taking pictures by stating that you know you are fully within your rights.

It all suggest to me a most luxurious indulgence to be able to so exaggerate the police’s powers, something I doubt is required in North Korea or Burma, say, where I would imagine one of the few weapons against a genuine police state is an extensive, and most of all correct, knowledge of your rights. Ultimately, the point I guess I’m trying to make is that claiming that the police have greater powers than they do – and by extension that we have fewer rights than we in fact possess – may be of value if all you are interested in doing is giving New Labour or the police a good old metaphorical kicking; but if it is motivated by a genuine desire to defend our civil liberties then it is surely a thoroughly misguided and counter-productive activity.

Cover Story

You’d think, the way some people are talking, that we’re all unable to step outside our front doors without seeing someone dressed in a burka (a word I fear I may spell differently each time I use it on this post). The issue of the ubiquitous burka (or burkha) – or should that be the ubiquitous issue of the burqa (or burqua) – has certainly been in the media recently. Last week, the once-reputable Allison Pearson wrote of “Burkha Rage” in her Daily Mail column; then, on Monday, French President Nicolas Sarkozy took advantage of an historic special session of the French parliament to speak of banning the item of dress; and by yesterday that story featured on both Question Time and This Week, both of which I actually managed to bother watching for the first time in an age.

The Allison Pearson piece has already been taken apart by Anton Vowl, amongst others, so I will try to be brief. Pearson opens her article with a little story.

On a train to London, a young woman wearing a burkha, with only her heavily made-up eyes peeping out, did not have a valid ticket.

Challenged by the guard, the young woman gave a litany of excuses. She had left her bag at her boyfriend’s, he had bought the ticket, she had no money on her…

My friend Jane, who was in the same carriage, noticed how the guard became nervous as the Muslim girl presented herself as an innocent in a society she didn’t understand.

Instead of issuing a penalty fine, the guard backed off, shrugging his helplessness at the other passengers.

So imagine my friend’s surprise when she got off at the same station as burkha girl and saw this ‘penniless innocent’ whip out a credit card from under the folds of her dress with which she promptly bought a Tube ticket.

Jane was so incensed she sent me a text message, explaining what she’d witnessed. It ended: ‘Attack of Burkha Rage. Grrr.’

Grrr indeed. Now, to me this seems to be a straightforward case of common-or-garden fare-dodging, an activity that I suspect cuts across all demographics and which many of us have engaged in to some degree. I know I have; in my cash-strapped days on the dole my favoured technique was to simply stare out of the train window as the guard approached in the hope that he would mistakenly assume he had already checked my ticket, something that worked a surprising number of times. That said, fare-dodging is wrong. No question. What I can’t see, though, when reading this story, is how the fact that this particular fare-dodger sported a burka is in any way relevant, other than the assertion that “the guard became nervous as the Muslim girl presented herself as an innocent in a society she didn’t understand”, a questionable claim that seems to be undermined by the previous statement that “burkha girl” had issued a “litany of excuses” to try to escape paying, all of which suggest a definite au-faitness with British society in general and what is expected of one when boarding a train in particular.

Now, it is increasingly a good idea at such a juncture to point out I am not bandying about any allegation of racism here, lest I am accused of closing down debate on such an important matter. However, I also feel it is important to call things as you see them and that to hide behind euphemism can render any debate worthless, and so I do hope Allison Pearson and others will allow me to be suspicious of the motivation behind choosing to define the term “burkha rage” by illustrating it with an incident in which a burka itself, while present, appears to play no significant part; or indeed any part at all. While it would be wrong to jump to any obvious conclusion and cry “racism”, so it would be wrong to prematurely exclude the possibility that an element of racism may be present. Otherwise, Pearson’s friend’s story could just as appropriately be about “Hush Puppies Rage”, “Timex Watch Rage” or “M&S Underwear Rage” if we were to discover that these items too were worn about the person of the protaganist in this tale, and for all it would matter. Anyway, Pearson assures us that at the end of the day her friend Jane “is not a BNP voter.” No? Well, perhaps she should be.

Meanwhile, Sarkozy’s suggestion that – were he to get his own way – the burka would “not be welcome on the territory of the French republic” because it oppresses woman is similarly stupid; a piece of logic so daft that debunking it shouldn’t really need doing. Sadly, based upon the reaction of much of yesterday’s Question Time audience to the issue (not to mention that of Michael Portillo following on This Week) I’d better had. As I see it then, there are two broad groups that any potential ban on the burka is going to affect. On the one hand there are those women who choose to wear the burka of their own free will; here, the government will be instructing people on what they can and cannot wear, a bizarre state of affairs. On the other there are those women who are forced to wear the burka, trapped as they are in some form of domestic subservience; they will perhaps welcome being freed from the tyranny of having to wear the burka, but will still, all other things being equal, remain trapped in that same form of domestic subservience. So why fucking bother?

If, then, the intention of such a ban is to empower women who are stuck in an abusive relationship, then it seems to me to spectacularly miss the point. There are many, varied and complex ways that we can assist people in such situations that I can and will readily support. In any event, however, the empowerment of women didn’t appear to be a concern of many of Sarkozy’s supporters in the Question Time audience last night who seemed far more keen on fighting other battles. “When in Rome…” complained one opponent of the burka who, in the interests of ensuring a free and open debate, may not be racist. Perhaps he feels that Muslim interlopers should adopt indigenous methods of domestic oppression? There are plenty to choose from. Another audience member decried the fact that politicians refuse to debate this issue for reasons of political correctness, apparently oblivious to the fact that he was a member of the audience of a political debating programme featuring a debate between politicians on the very issue he complained no one would talk about. I wonder if he gets similarly confused and incensed when he hears the likes of Nick Griffin complain about a political correctness that means that only the white, native population of this country is discriminated against in being denied the opportunity to form their own exclusive organisations; perhaps so much so that he has considered taking the opportunity to join Nick Griffin’s BNP, an exclusive organisation formed exclusively by and for the white, native population?

If so, then perhaps he can take Jane along.

Twitterings: 19th-25th June

  • Friday morning Pavement lyric #6: “Mandrake versus the snake. I got it on the camera for posterity.” [#]
  • Shouting At Cows: on HD TV and ITV Sport in Mosaic-vision http://amplify.com/u/87u [#]
  • RT @antonvowl: RT @bounder – Worst Daily Mail poll ever. Vote yes to skew the results and pass it on http://bit.ly/w4b6Q [#]
  • Morning Quiz: How many times in an *average* day does Nicky Campbell get punched? (Clue: It’s fewer than you’d think; between 80-100 times). [#]
  • 853: on Anonymous Blogging and MSM Hypocrisy http://amplify.com/u/8im [#]
  • Mother Nature has decreed that I’m of an age where I would benefit from tufts of hair growing from my ears. Mother Nature is full of shit. [#]
  • *Still* slightly hungover, despite stopping drinking 16 hours ago. Does hair-of-the-dog work with alcohol-free beer? It’s all I have in. [#]
  • This hot cup of tea isn’t cooling me down at all. [#]