Monthly Archives: June 2005

United They Fall

Manchester United fans are continuing their protests against the Glazers taking over their club, and understandably; I would be pretty unhappy if a similar scheme to buy my club was being undertaken and I was forced to sell my shares in Manchester City.

But I don’t think that many United supporters in general, and the Shareholders United group in particular, are doing themselves any favours. Quite apart from the anti-Americanisms some fans are coming out with, in this report the Shareholders United vice-chairman Sean Bones calls the Glazers “the enemies of Manchester United”; he says they are “disgusting and repulsive” and “the Glazer brand is toxic and tarnished”. Bones actually makes me feel a bit of sympathy for Malcolm and his boys. Later on he says “in the long-term the Glazer brand will be suffocated. The previous Manchester United brand was peerless in terms of sporting brand names.”

Another report, from the Manchester Evening News, states that Shareholders United are demanding government action and are to submit papers to the Office of Fair Trading. The article cites a number of their concerns regarding the takeover of the club; here are few that caught my eye, along with my own knee jerk responses.

“Glazer’s purchase of the club weakens competition and harms the consumer…the initial £265m of debt saddled onto the club – which could more than double in the next five years – will weaken United’s ability to compete with the other top teams.”

Nice of the United fans to be so concerned about the effect on the competitiveness of the League. I don’t remember hearing many concerns when United won the Premiership for three years in succession during the Nineties. If competitiveness is an issue, where were Shareholders United and their ilk when the TV rights were carved up, when the Premier league was formed, and when the decision was taken for home clubs to keep 100% of their league gate receipts, which hugely benefits the larger clubs?

“The intention to hike prices by 52 per cent over the next five years, as revealed in a leaked Glazer business plan, is “an abuse of market power,” as United supporters are a captive audience.”

Mmm. On the one hand, (with my devil’s advocate hat on) there are other football teams to support (such as the newly formed FC United), but even if you cannot contemplate following another football team (and personally, I will be “City ‘til I die”) no-one is forcing you to buy tickets to see United. In business terms, following a football team could be seen as an extreme form of brand loyalty; is it the role of the OFT to defend your right to cheap Levi’s or Coca Cola?

“Revenue raised by increased prices will not go to improving the team but to servicing Glazer’s debt.”

But if Glazer owns the club, surely he can run it as he sees fit.

“Some of the individuals and bodies associated with the takeover are “not fit and proper persons” to be involved with an institution with United’s history and heritage.”

I am not fully acquainted with OFT procedures, but does “history and heritage” fall under their remit? And have United not compromised their “history and heritage” by stretching their “brand” across different products and continents, and by redesigning their logo club badge so the words “football club” are omitted?

The problem as I see it with Shareholders United complaints is that they are getting drawn into the whole matter of whether football clubs are simply businesses or are something more. By arguing about United’s peerless brand and their captive market they seem to be arguing the business case; but from a business viewpoint surely the Glazers’ actions make perfect sense? As businessmen, they have identified a great global brand, one that they feels they can make money from, and they have obtained it. On the subject of ticket prices; of course United fans don’t want them raised, but from a business point of view tickets for Old Trafford are ridiculously under priced. This is proven by the fact that OT is sold out for every Premiership match weeks in advance; in a perfect business model the last ticket would be sold at 3 o’clock on a Saturday afternoon (assuming United ever played at that time, of course) and so would eke out every available economic efficiency from the market.

By fighting on the battleground of business, Shareholders United seem to be falling into the assumption that in the market the customer (or fan) is king, but this is too simplistic. Have you ever heard anyone say something to the effect that “I am sick of just walking to the top of my road to go to the bank. No, I would much rather it was shut down, and I can ring up a central number, navigate ten recorded menus of information before finally being given the option to speak to an operator, then hanging on the line for a further twenty minutes before eventually speaking to a service adviser, in India”. Nobody says that, nobody wants that, but it still happens because it can be more profitable to piss off your customers a little in order to make savings elsewhere. The customer is not king, he or she is merely a consideration; in business it is profits that are sovereign.

Here is another, real life example from my wife’s work. Recently another company bought her firm; call them venture capitalists, asset strippers, whatever. The result has been that recently the customer service aspect of the firm has been relentlessly squeezed to concentrate on sales; customer service advisers are being forced into selling, regardless of aptitude, so they can wring every last penny out of their existing customers, mithering them with outbound sales calls at all hours resulting in my wife having to deal with numerous complaints from hassled customers. No doubt sales overall are improving as a consequence, but what about the people who haven’t been persuaded by the pestering, and whose good custom has been squandered? That doesn’t show up on the sales figures. Is this a good way to run a company in the long run, and a good way to treat staff and customers? Who cares; in around twelve months the intention is for my wife’s company to be sold on again, no doubt on the basis of a short-term increase in sales and per capita customer spend. If the chickens eventually come home to roost with cancelled and reduced subscriptions it doesn’t matter, because the current owners will have moved on by then. But this is the way business often works.

If Shareholders United really want government action, I think they will have to try a different tack. Perhaps they should argue that football clubs are more than just businesses, that they are historic entities, that they belong to their communities, and that as a result there should be specific regulations amounting to some sort preservation order that restrict what owners can do to their clubs. It may be too late for United, but this may be the only way forward. As it is, Shareholders United seem to be urging the government to step in because a businessmen has bought a business and intends to run it as a business; and I don’t really know what the government could, or should, do about that.

Taken For IDiots

In the long battle over ID cards, the argument that they would tackle terrorism was abandoned long ago. Now Home Secretary Charles Clarke is quoted as saying that “the cards would help tackle serious and organised crime, although not street crime.”

With the actual benefits of ID cards seemingly disappearing before our eyes like chilled pints of Stella on a hot summer day, Clarke has apparently thought of a new reason why we should sign up for their introduction.

Mr Clarke hit out at civil liberties’ fears, stressing: “There would be no compulsion on anybody to show their ID card in the street.” They would also help people identify themselves and help attack the “Big Brother society” where a lot of information was already held about people, he said.

Quite brilliant. In one fell swoop, Clarke has taken on the criticism that ID cards could infringe our civil liberties by arguing that the cards would actually act as a guard against just such a development. Genius.

Presumably, if this tactic doesn’t work it will next be revealed that there are other hitherto unforseen benefits of ID cards; that they are vital in tackling global warming, or in making poverty history. Who knows? They may be required in finding the cure for the common cold.

Personally, I would be happy if Mr Clarke could just explain, if there is already a fear about our personal information being kept on databases all over the place, how can yet another database of information possibly remedy the situation?

By The By

Following the sad death of my MP, Patsy Calton, the Liberal Democrats and the Conservatives are gearing up for the by-election that will soon be visited upon the Cheadle constituency. Both have recently dropped leaflets through my door.

They are the usual fare, with both side saying pretty much the same thing. They want more police on the beat, they want the A555 by-pass completed. Only the Liberal Democrats say they are “fighting for local pensioners”, but I dare say the Conservatives could say the same.

Things get a bit more interesting, however, with a third leaflet entitled “Community In Touch”, a title suspiciously similar to the name of the traditional local Lib Dem leaflet “Keeping In Touch”. With the headline “Local Cheadle Hulme Man Snubbed” it suggests that there is discontent at the selection of Mark Hunter as the Liberal Democrats candidate in preference to Stuart Bodsworth, Patsy Calton’s “former right-hand man”. Well, that may well be true, but as this leaflet has also been printed by the Conservatives (as the tiny writing at the bottom of the leaflet confirms) I doubt the authors of this gem are really in the know. Indeed, the leaflet flaunts its ignorance by saying that Stuart Bodsworth “must feel devastated”; i.e. they don’t actually know one way or the other. As for Mark Hunter, they say that “all we know is that he leads a deeply unpopular Council and it is his decisions that brought about this unpopularity”; this will be the same council (Stockport) that was solid Tory during the Seventies and is now solid Lib Dem, and becoming more of a Liberal Democrats stronghold year on year.

But the main complaint about Mark Hunter is that he is from outside the area. We get an unattributed quote saying,

“Fancy the Liberal Democrats talking about a local candidate – their candidate
doesn’t even live here. Perhaps if he lived here, and cared about Cheadle, he
wouldn’t charge us so much in council tax. He’s an outsider”.

We then have a rather neat Q&A.

Q. Who decides how much council tax we pay?
A. The Local Council.

Q. OK, so who is the leader of the Council?
A. Mark Hunter

Q. Mark Hunter? Who’s he then? I’ve never heard of him.
A. Exactly. He doesn’t live in the Cheadle constituency but he does decide how much people in Cheadle pay in council tax. He’s an outsider.

So, we have now been informed that the local council sets the council tax rate; bet you didn’t know that. Needless to say, Cheadle doesn’t have a unique council tax separate from the rest of the borough, the council sets the same rate across the whole of Stockport. I am not too sure what the Tories are suggesting here; that Cheadle should have it’s own council? I haven’t seen that as a suggestion in either of their leaflets.

Anyway, just how much of an outsider is Mark Hunter? Fortunately, the Tories are on hand to inform us with this handy map.

Would you look at that! Miles away! Those tricksy Lib Dems have parachuted in a stranger to these part! Don’t let them get away with it!

I don’t know just how stupid the Tories think I am, but it seems they think I am very stupid. You would think that by mentioning that Hunter is leader of the council, most people would get the impression he is fairly local, even if he doesn’t actually live next door to them; but the map to me just suggests that he is, in fact, very local indeed.

In contrast, the best the Lib Dem leaflet can do is announce that “our next MP will be local campaigner Mark Hunter, or Michael Howards’s Conservative”. Pathetic. If they really want to fight it out on this whole “local” versus “outsider” business then they will have to try harder; perhaps by employing Edward and Tubbs in their campaign team.

Clan Did Know!

In case you haven’t noticed, I don’t really have either the time or (more importantly) the inclination just now to write anything on this blog. There just seem to be more important things to be getting up to at the moment.

Such as spending a glorious day at Llandudno, for example, where the accompanying picture of my son was taken. It sure beats sitting at a computer, bashing out a post, I can tell you.

So, until inspiration hits me, and I come up with another derivative post where I repeat myself once again original, intelligent and well observed post, I will leave you all with this image. See you soon…

Office Politics

Curiosity got the better of me, and I have now had the chance to watch the American version of The Office (courtesy of BBC3 who are broadcasting it as The Office – An American Workplace) and I actually thought it was quite good. It would be easy to pick holes in it, and it goes without saying that I didn’t think it was a good as the original, but it is only fair to bear in mind that a) the US version was designed for a US audience, and so I would always expect to find it more difficult to relate to, and b) the original version of The Office, across the 12 episodes and 2 Christmas specials, was a near perfect sit-com, and to top it would be almost impossible.

A few observations; first that the actor who plays Jim (Tim in the British version) appears to have studied Martin Freeman down to every slight tic and mannerism, and so that looks a bit laboured. The NBC version also seems to be making the whole Tim-Dawn relationship a bit more obvious, but perhaps it is only obvious to those who have seen the original. After watching the opening episode I got out my Office DVD and I was surprised at how much busier the script seemed in the British version. Although the basic plot of both episodes was the same, it was interesting to see what had been changed (a reference to Camilla Parker Bowles becomes Hilary Rodham Clinton; wanker becomes jerk; trifle is flan) and what had just been dropped altogether. The result is that the US version generally seemed slower and more sparse, but I still liked it; perhaps because of what they could have changed, but thankfully didn’t.

It will be interesting to see where the American writers take it from here; future episodes look as if they won’t be such straight copies of the British version. I am particularly interested to see how the Pub Quiz episode works when it is transformed into a game of Basketball.

If nothing else, I think the US version of The Office, if not as good as the British version, is certainly not as bad as many people seemed to expect, with their tired arguments that “Americans don’t do irony”. You would think that the existence of The Simpsons, Cheers and Larry Sanders would have put to bed such lazy thinking, but no. As for the other argument, that the American networks are bound to sap the originality out of any imported idea, just remember the sort of rubbish our own homegrown broadcasters come up with sometimes. Can you imagine what ITV would turn out if they decided to do a British remake of Seinfeld? They’d probably cast Bradley Walsh as Jerry and Joe Pasquale as George. God knows who would play Kramer and Elaine; probably the golden handcuff pair, Ross Kemp and Sarah Lancashire.

No, don’t laugh.

Guilt By Association

According to The Scotsman

THE “great train robber” Ronnie Biggs is making a fresh bid for release from prison on compassionate grounds, his legal advisor said last night.

The 75-year-old, who has suffered several strokes and minor heart attacks and can no longer speak, is being held at Belmarsh, a category A prison, where he receives 24-hour care.

My first instinct, perhaps harshly, is that Biggs is taking the piss. He happily evaded justice for years, then when it suited him he flung himself upon the mercy of the British judiciary and taxpayer. However, I am not exactly a hard-liner when it comes to prison conditions, and perhaps there is a case for compassionate release and house arrest; what purpose is achieved by keeping a frail old man in prison?

But wait; what is this?

His legal advisor, Giovanni Di Stefano, said Biggs “did not belong in prison”. He added: “If the Home Secretary can release the most supposed dangerous terrorists from Belmarsh, why cannot he let this old man go?”

Oh dear. Quite apart from the fact that the Home Secretary didn’t want to release the Belmarsh detainees (who, unlike Biggs, haven’t been found guilty of, or even charged with an offence) my heart always sinks when I hear Di Stefano’s name in a news report. Perhaps you shouldn’t judge someone by the company they keep, but Di Stefano’s list of associates makes quite some reading. What next? Biggs’ publicity to be handled by Max Clifford?

Mersey Paradise

Liverpool have been given the opportunity to defend the European Cup they won in such a dramatic manner the other week. Time to celebrate? A rare and welcome victory for common sense? Well, you would think so wouldn’t you, but according to Les Lawson of the Liverpool International Supporters Club, Liverpool have been “treated with contempt” by UEFA for being asked to compete in the qualifying rounds of the tournament. In this article on the BBC website phrases such as “insult” are bandied about. I find this bizarre.

Remember that a couple of days ago Liverpool weren’t in the Champions league at all; whatever your opinion on the matter that was the situation, and within the rules of the competition at the time. In order for Liverpool to compete next season UEFA have had to change their rules mid-stream, and if I were a Liverpool fan I would be counting my blessings that they have done so. In any case, just a few weeks ago, when there was the suggestion that TNS could meet Liverpool in a play-off for their qualifying round spot, this was generally hailed as a great idea, a real fillip for the earlier rounds of the competition. Now that UEFA have effectively sanctioned such an event, some Liverpool fans are saying the club should tell “them to stick it”.

The simple fact is that according to the original rules, Liverpool should not be in next year’s competition. Do I think that rule was a sensible one? No. I think that the champions should always be allowed the chance to defend their trophy. That said, I don’t think that the team who finish fourth (or third, or even second) in the Premiership should compete in the Champions League in the first place, so there you go. Liverpool, I think, can count themselves very lucky.

Meanwhile, my team Man City look like they will be denied the chance to take Liverpool’s vacant spot in the UEFA cup. The Premier League say they are going to fight City’s corner, but they may as well not bother. While there has clearly been some sympathy for Liverpool’s plight at UEFA headquarters, I suspect no one down there gives a toss about City and so nothing will change. To be honest I don’t even know where this suggestion came from; it always seemed like a ludicrous non-starter from the off. I certainly never heard any UEFA official entertain the notion of City slipping into the tournament; perhaps it was dreamt up by some Manchester Evening News journo with an overactive imagination. No, if we wanted to qualify for Europe we could have done so by beating Middlesbrough in the last game of the season. We didn’t, and so we haven’t.

PostScript: If you haven’t already seen it, check out this site, purporting to be a blog from a new American fan of Manchester United; or the Manchester Buccaneers, as he prefers it. Very, very funny indeed; nearly as funny as the comments section, where a spectacularly large number of people demonstrate their lack of a sense of humour by blatantly not getting the joke.

The Last Broadcast

There have been a couple of fine posts at Third Avenue over the past few weeks on a subject I have covered here previously (for example) namely the BBC; in particular this post which includes a good debate on the subject in the comments section. Now, I think I have written enough about the BBC previously and I don’t particularly want to go over old ground (although that has never stopped me before) so I hope this will be my final post on the matter, but reading Third Avenue did make me question just why it is that I have felt the need to defend the corporation a number of times. I think there are two main reasons.

First, there are the criticisms of leftist bias that to me seem unfair. These allegations are not new – I remember there being complaints of their coverage of the Falklands War, because, for example, they wouldn’t refer to British troops as “our forces” – but since the Hutton Report this seems to have been stepped up a notch. It is quite common to read some totally misleading accounts of the whole Gilligan/Kelly affair (see this Fox News comment for example, via Bloggerheads), and particularly across some of the (for want of a better phrase) Right Wing blogs it is taken as given that the BBC is a nest of leftist vipers.

Now, some criticisms may be in order. Blimpish says of the BBC (in the comments section on Third Avenue) “primarily liberal people work there (no conspiracy behind this, it’s partly down to the type of people who get drawn into TV-media)” and I reckon that this may be true of the BBC. The result could be that there is some sort of “institutional leftism” at the organisation, and I can just about entertain this as a possibility. However, the criticisms usually levelled at the BBC go further than talk of some slight unconscious bias. Like Third Avenue I am horribly drawn to the car crash blogging at Biased BBC; there and elsewhere it is not uncommon for commentators to speak matter-of-factly of the BBC being a Marxist organisation with a unified political agenda. This goes way beyond any talk of a vague soft leftish / liberal leaning for the broadcaster; it is also complete and utter bollocks. I should be able to ignore the insane ravings coming from Biased BBC, but I appear unable to do so.

Secondly, though, I reckon that just 10 years ago I wouldn’t have been a flag waver for the corporation at all. I remember an early Alan Partridge radio programme where he “interviews” Tony Hayers, the “BBC’s commissioning editor”. Partridge reels off a list of his favourite BBC programmes that fit the ethos of “quality, originality and excellence”; except the examples he names (let’s say “Morse”, “Wexford” and “World in Action”) were all made by ITV. The only good BBC programme he can think of is “Noel’s House Party”. It was a funny joke at the time, but just a few years later it seems terribly dated; it is only with great difficulty that I can think of any half decent ITV programmes at all.

This is another reason that I feel such affection for the BBC. Multi channel television has enlightened me, opened my eyes to all sorts of new possibilities; I really never knew just how crap some television could be before. ITV, and to some extent Channel 4 have reacted by producing some absolute shite in response. The BBC has not been immune – I rarely ever watch BBC1 nowadays – but they still have a knack of generally making the better programmes (I am not totally slagging off the TV landscape since Sky appeared, in fact arguably TV overall has never been better; it’s just that there seems so much more dross nowadays as a percentage of the whole). Even critics of BBC News often accept that the BBC does still make some top quality programmes, among the best on television.

Ultimately then, what better reason to defend the BBC than to simply say that I think they are the best broadcaster in the country, and that consequently it seems bizarre that they appear to receive more criticism than anyone else. Similarly, while I have some issues with the TV licence (that it is a regressive tax, and that non-payment is a criminal rather than a civil offence) my overriding feeling is that “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”, and that all the other suggestions for funding the BBC look to me as if they would compromise what we already have.

But finally, yes; I am aware of the irony that my post last week slagged off a BBC television programme!

A House Is Not A Motel

Regular readers (not that there seem to be many left now I have returned from holiday) will notice a redesign of this site. Basically I got a bit fed up with visiting other blogs and finding they looked identical to mine, using the standard “scribe” template from Blogger. I was happy with the way my blog looked, but I decided as my comments and observations on life are uninspired, unoriginal and far from unique, the least I can do is have a website that looks different from lots of others out there.

Not that the new look is exactly a state of the art or cutting edge design, pretty much a straight lift of the look you find on many of the TypePad blogs; but I do like the neat uncluttered way those blogs look, and so I hope I have done a half decent copy. Anyway, if you’d told me when I started this blog last year that I would be able to do any sort of HTML redesign at all I would have laughed. But not to your face; I am not that rude.

While I am doing some “blog housekeeping” I will just mention the addition of The Sharpener to my list of links; not that this group blog needs further publicity as it seems to be doing just fine by itself. However, I do think it is worth noting that The Sharpener is a great blog, with some excellent writing from some fine bloggers, and along with Tim Worstall’s BritBlog Roundup every Sunday is a fantastic time saving device for someone like myself whose “blogging time” (largely of my own volition) is somewhat limited. The quality of the posts so far has been very high, and has introduced me to a couple of nice blogs at Third Avenue and Actually Existing. If you haven’t already, give it a go.

The Nanny State We're In

I watched a few minutes of Grumpy Old Men last night, just before popping out for a Chinese take-away, and it made me realise how happy-go-lucky and un-grumpy I actually am.
The subject this week was “The Nanny State”, and its opening narration neatly encapsulated the somewhat ambivalent attitudes some people have on the subject. I am paraphrasing, obviously, but the voice-over went something like “There was a time when at least you were free from the state’s nannying influence in the morning, when you could retire to the bathroom and dream up new laws you would like implementing”. In other words, the nanny state interfering in your life is wrong, but you want the state to enact more laws to interfere in others’ business . Smashing.

This is part of the “Daily Mail paradox”. If you were to do a statistical breakdown I would suspect that the phrase “the nanny state” has been used more often in the Mail than in all other publications throughout history put together. At the same time, no other paper is quite so active when it comes to calling for further restrictions on drinking, gambling, video games, films, television programmes and so on. If the Mail doesn’t like it, then it should be banned; if it does, then the nanny state should leave it alone.

But what were the specific intrusions by the state as voiced in Grumpy Old Men? Well, the first was being told about testicular self-examination. Oh cruel and tyrannical state! How dare you educate people about health issues? Personally, since puberty, I have been checking my balls daily for no good reason, but I am not forced to do so by law. Perhaps the contributors live in different health authorities with different byelaws, but I doubt anyone is committing an offence in not feeling their bollocks.

Then there was the old bore about CCTV cameras. “I don’t want to be watched 24 hours a day,” wailed one grump. Well, you’re not, so don’t worry; even the people in the CCTV room probably spend more time eating sandwiches and reading the paper than watching people on the monitors. I know I would if I worked there. Arthur Smith complained that sometimes he just wants to get away from peoples’ attention, but is unable to thanks to CCTV. Someone should tell him that CCTV cameras tend to be on private property, where he shouldn’t be in the first place, or in large city centres, where it is nigh on impossible to avoid other people. I suggest he tries the Cotswolds; quiet, isolated and CCTV camera free.

Just before I left to collect my Salt and Pepper Chicken with Boiled Rice they were talking about smoking bans. Now, despite being a non-smoker I am against a law preventing smoking in public places, but the complaint here seemed to be about non-smoking areas anywhere in society. Why? If a shop or bar wants to have a no-smoking policy then that isn’t the nanny state, that is an individual company exercising its freedom to run a business how it sees fit. But, as with “political correctness”, “the nanny state” is a term that people seem to bandy about whenever to describe something they don’t like.

Now listen, I am against the state interfering in areas that are not its concern, I have made that point several times here already; but I actually find myself getting more annoyed by stupid “nanny state” comments of the sort made in Grumpy Old Men. I know, I know, Grumpy Old Men is meant as a mildly amusing programme there to entertain and perhaps I am over-reacting, but whatever the humourous intent the opinions offered were serious and genuinely held. In the end I wondered what the contribitors were actually bothered about. Even the things objected to seemed largely trivial and not at all intrusive; I got the impression of a group of well off and comfortable people who wanted to play the part of the downtrodden railing against tyranny, or maybe just the arrogant whingeing about being told what to do. Orwell’s name was invoked, obviously, as if talk of the “thought police” and the “ministry of truth” was relevant, but I think that is overdoing it a bit.

When a speed camera caught me the other week I was pissed off, but as I knew that I was doing 90 mph on the A74 just because I wanted to reach my destination quicker I just accepted it, rather than moan about “big brother”. I don’t think Orwell was attacking the use of technology to enforce perfectly sensible laws in 1984; similarly, although he coined phrases such as “thought crime” and “newspeak”, I doubt he would have worried about the sort of “political correctness gone mad” where “you can’t even call people a ‘spastic’ or a ‘paki’ nowadays”*. No, I think he had some significantly more important concepts in mind when he penned his tale of a totalitarian future.

*this is not so much a direct quote as a generic “political correcteness gone mad” comment.